Is the quality and expression of one’s enlightenment richer, deeper and more creative if one allows oneself to complete one’s worldly trips, rather than dropping them in the name of spirituality?
Certainly! How can you drop if you have not lived your life totally? If you have not known sex, how can you drop it? It will linger, it will surround you in subtle ways; it will become an undercurrent in your unconscious. How can you drop anger if you have not lived it?
Nothing can be dropped without experiencing it in totality. Only total experience helps you to go beyond.
The spirituality that comes without experiencing life is impotent. That is the difference that I want to bring to your consciousness. That kind of spirituality has existed on the earth down the ages… and that’s why man is so ugly. It is because of that kind of spirituality. It has made you repressed; it has not transformed you. It was against this, against that – against everything! It was against life, it was anti-life. It has not allowed you to live your life joyously – to see, to feel, to experience, and to go beyond through experiencing.
Knowledge liberates – not the knowledge that you gather from scriptures, but the knowledge that comes through experience. You become angry again and again and again… and you start feeling the foolishness of it, the utter ridiculousness of it, the poisonousness of it, the destructiveness of it. One day the fruit is ripe – not that you decide: ”I will never be angry” – but just the fruit is ripe and it falls of its own accord. And anger disappears as if it had never existed in you; it simply evaporates.
Live your life. Live a life of variety, a multi-dimensional life, and you will be richer. And, naturally, when a man has lived in all the dimensions of his life and comes to enlightenment, his experience is going to be richer. At least his expression is going to be richer.
And finally: you can only come to enlightenment when you have lived truly. Those who think that they have come to enlightenment without living life are only deceiving themselves and nobody else. They are carrying the whole world in them – unlived, it remains there. Seeds they are carrying.
Patanjali divides samadhi, enlightenment, into two types: samadhi with seed and samadhi without seed. What he calls sabeej samadhi – samadhi with seed – is when you have not lived and subtle desires are still hankering to be fulfilled. You have repressed the seed but it is there, and it will assert itself when the right season arrives. When the spring comes, it may start sprouting again.
You can repress your sex for your whole life, but even at the moment of death it may assert itself.
Repression is not revolution. Revolution is through experience. Maturity is through experience.
Enlightenment is ultimate maturity, beyond which there is none else. How can you find a shortcut to it? – there is none. You have to go through the whole life… tasting its sweetness and its bitterness, feeling its agonies and its ecstasies, watching its ups and downs, the sunlit peaks and the dark nights in the valley, the sadness and the joy of it – all has to be lived.
You have to be a sinner and a saint! One who is only a saint is a poor saint, and one who is only a sinner is a poor sinner – you have to be saintsinner or sinnersaint. You have to live all that God makes available to you. You have to live it unconditionally. And then one day… the quantum leap, the enlightenment.
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