All your meditation, and all my stress and emphasis on meditation, is just to make you open. Any moment you will be open and there will be transmission.
Minor explosions happen daily. They are only the glimpses of the centre. But that glimpse is not enough. It can help, but do not be satisfied with it. Ordinarily we become satisfied with this. There is a glimpse, and one becomes satisfied. One makes it a treasure, then one goes on remembering it. When the glimpse is changed from the centre to the periphery, then it becomes a memory. Then you nourish it, then you remember it, then you feel elated by it. Then you always wonder when it will happen again. Then it has become a part of the periphery, of the memory. It is useless.
Minor explosions can even be fatal if you nourish them as memory. Throw them, forget them. Do not ask for their repetition. Only then the major will be possible. Only then the total explosion will be possible.
So there are minor explosions, but I never pay any attention to them. And you should not pay any attention to them either because a minor explosion becomes a part of the memory. It cannot destroy the memory; on the contrary, it can strengthen it. So a small experience, a petty experience, cannot do. Throw it. Unless the total is achieved, do not be contented. Before the ultimate explosion, do not be satisfied. Remain discontented. Never remember anything that has happened. No experience should be accumulated and nourished. As it happens, throw it, forget it, go ahead. Unless the total explosion is, nothing short of that will do. So do not pay any attention.
Things have happened, things are happening; but I never talk about minor explosions. If someone comes to me and says that there is this minor explosion, I will just try to throw it. It should not be remembered. It will be a barrier. Continue to the centre, until you reach to the point from where there is no coming back. When that point comes it is never a part of memory. You remember only the things which are lost. That which is always with you, you need not remember. You remember only things which are lost.
Really, you become aware only when the experience is lost. If you say, “I love you very much,” be aware that there is every possibility that the love is ending. It may have gone already. It is only an ego of the past. That is why you emphasize, “I love you very much.”
“Very much” is an effort to fill the gap, and there is a gap. The love has gone. When love exists, you feel it and live it. Silence is enough. When it is gone, you chatter about it. Now silence is not enough. On the contrary, in silence the dead love will be exposed. In silence, you cannot hide it. Now you begin to chatter about it. Ordinarily, we are not speaking to tell things. Rather, on the contrary, we are speaking to hide things. In silence, you cannot hide it with words.
Whenever you become aware of any minor explosion, do not nourish the memory and do not long for its repetition. It has gone; it has become a part of the dead past. Throw it. Let the dead be buried and go ahead. And when the real explosion, the major explosion, the ultimate explosion, happens, you will not remember it. You will not need to remember it. It will be with you; it will be your centre; it will be your being. You cannot forget it. There is no meaning to remembering or forgetting. And unless the major happens, the minor has no meaning.
Excerpted from I Am The Gate, chapter 6 – The secrets of spiritual explosion
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