Cancer Provided the Poke I Needed – Devageet

Devageet left his body on January 26, 2020. A beautiful tribute page can be found on OSHONEWS.

 

I have a cancer.

It has stripped away my tomorrows.

My tree of life has been stripped down to essentials.

There is a new purity of intent.

Priorities are put to the test.

Cancer has dissolved procrastination, and

I am left joyous and grateful.

Cancer stole my baggage,

Now, unexpectedly, I fly higher.

Perhaps I am fooling myself.

How can I know?

Simply by reaching deep into my heart.

There I find joy, good humour, gratitude and delight.

Alone in the night; I wake several times nowadays, the cancer reveals itself as an awakener.

My sleep has been deep but now,

Thanks to oncology, I have surged beyond psychology.

What a Laugh!

I do not need to know what comes next.

I do need to simply be present here-now.

Laughter, joy, meditation, love, friendship,

Are with me on this surprising journey.

They are here, now, as I write.

Even this chemotherapy is proving an unexpected friend.

Who could have guessed? Not me.

I remember Osho saying,

Never act out of fear.

Acting out of fear, even if it appears to be right, it is always seen, sooner or later, as wrong.

I search myself for fear.

Is it hiding?

I have not found it yet.

But the search has found another unexpected jewel:

Meditation and awareness can now penetrate even my sleep.

Cancer provided the poke I needed.

I had long regarded myself as chairman of the ‘slow learners’ club.

Slow or not, cancer has shown something has happened, and continues to happen.

Yes, I may be fooling myself.

So what!

I am in truth, consciousness and bliss.

Sitting here-now, an ancient meditator, full of cytotoxic drugs, quietly grieving over the loss of his beard,

I find myself smiling, then laughing out loud.

I am dancing inside.

I love the ridiculousness of this paradox that is happening.

Who would have guessed?

Not me.

But then, didn’t Osho say, Death comes dancing.

This here-now does not feel like death, more like enhanced life.

Whatever comes, whenever, I am ready,

Grateful far beyond these poor words.

-Devageet

13 thoughts on “Cancer Provided the Poke I Needed – Devageet”

  1. All I can hear when I read this poem is “Me…. me.. me.. me.. me”.

    I seldom encounter humbleness in sannyasins.

    40 years of meditation, and they still run around in circles, around “me me me me”.

    I was reading a sharing by Krishna Prem Mogul.

    All I can hear is “Me me me”.

    I’m disillusioned with sannyasins.

    Maybe in India I will find sincere seekers, genuine enlightened people, and genuine kirtan singers.

    Sannyasins are superficial, and very egoistic, because hedonism doesn’t work. Sexual indulgence doesn’t work. You remain superficial.

    OK, Osho wanted to create a new religion for humanity, a hedonist religion for most people. Fair enough.

    But the effect of hedonism on sincere seekers is that it stops them from going very deep, they get stuck in pleasure, stuck in sex, stuck in egocentrism.

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      1. Here the circling has completed its spinning behind the ‘me’. –

        —

        You are just saying this.

        It’s bullshit. I am sad that you don’t even have a clue what I’m talking about, even though I went to great effort to explain it in as many words as possible.

        Anyone who experienced deep meditation is painfully aware, ever second, that the body can die any second. I’m speaking from experience.

        You don’t need cancer to realize you are mortal.

        It’s an intuition what I see in Devageet’s words. I tried to explain it, but it seems to go over your heads.

        Either you see it or you don’t.

        Obviously you don’t.

        PS: I met Devageet.

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        1. You are right Prem Dharma, I do not have a clue what you are referring to in Devageet’s poem written as he was facing the great unknown that is all about “me, me, me.” It seems to me that he is experiencing the end of “me” and is surprised to find the moment filled with joy and celebration. Is that the “hedonism” that you refer in your comment?

          It is true that not everyone needs cancer to poke them into their interiority but that is what provoked Devageet and I bow down to his honesty, his humor, his humbleness and his “at oneness.” It is in that “at oneness” that the circle has completed its spinning. Cheers!

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    2. Prem Dharma, Your name sounds like a Sannyas name, but Who Are You? You don’t sound like a Sannyasin! You don’t seem to know Anything about Osho! The last thing that Osho wanted to do was create a “new religion for humanity”! Osho didn’t want to create a religion at all! And the only reason you hear me…me..me… in this poem is that there is something wrong with your eyes & ears. So it seems like the best thing for you to do, would be to pull your own head out of your own Ass before you start criticizing anyone else!

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      1. No, I don’t sound like the typical sannyasin brainwashed by “sannyas conditioning”.

        I’ve been a sannyasin for 20 years, and I spent many years in Osho communes, so I know exactly what sannyas conditioning is.

        Oh, yes he did. He wanted to create a “religionless religion” that would replace Christianity and the old religions.

        That’s why he talked about Zorba the Buddha. You don’t “see” it.

        Maybe you need to get your head out of your “sannyas conditioning”.

        —

        I realize from the comments most of you don’t even understand what I am talking about.

        Which kind of proves my point.

        Most sannyasins just repeat the same platitudes and have no profound undestanding of meditation.

        It’s India for me. A lot of Indians understand these things much more profoundly.

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  2. Prem Dharma, I do not hear the “me, me, me …” in Devageet’s writing. I hear a man who after 70 years of searching is suddenly and unexpectedly getting glimpses of joy and clarity. It seems the unexpectedness is tickling him and he is just overflowing with love and gratitude.

    I’ve noticed that it is easy and comfortable to hear someone speaking of their problems and difficulties. It is harder to hear someone sharing their bliss. That could be something to look at.

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    1. I respect your comment and the fact you did not attack me.

      Life is both positive and negative.

      Trying to be 100% positive is nothing but avoiding the negative aspects – “spiritual bypassing”.

      Devageet had positive and negative traits.

      Intuition sees reality exactly as it is — and there will be negative and positive aspects.

      If someone is very much involved in the ego — intuition will see this exactly as it is.

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  4. We are experts in seeing the supposed me me me in others while not seeing it in oneself !!!!!
    …. all I see is fierce judgment in a person who never spent time with Osho. Judgment of a man dying — no less. I lived with Deva Geet for a year in a sannyasin house on Napier Rd. I feel sobered reading his words ….. Fly fly fly, Deva Geet …
    Love, Karunesh

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  5. PS
    Underlying the love of judging others is the love of indirectly and subtly establishing one’s position of superiority. Is that me me me times 10 ?

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