Since I started meditating four years ago my life has changed tremendously. Changes are happening; it is not that I have an insight and then I start doing something. This has been a time of waiting. There is a feeling that something wants to express itself, and that I have to allow it. Am I waiting for something to grow strong enough or am I just lazy? Or am I waiting for Godot? Beloved Master, thank you for your being here.
Amrit Sagaram, things are growing.
Since you started meditating, much water has gone down the Ganges, and much has changed in your consciousness. But don’t ask for more; let existence take its own time. Remember Ta Hui—the more you hurry, the more you are delayed. You cannot do anything better than existence is doing already. Simply leave yourself in the hands of existence.
This relaxedness people have misunderstood always as laziness. It is not laziness. It looks like laziness to workaholics who cannot sit down, who have to do something because they are afraid the moment they stop doing something, they will have to know themselves. And that is their fear—who knows who they are? It is better to avoid the encounter.
Relaxation is to be at ease. Whatever is happening to you is perfectly good.
You say, “Since I started meditating four years ago my life has changed tremendously. Changes are happening, it is not that I have an insight and then I start doing something. This has been a time of waiting. There is a feeling that something wants to express itself, and that I have to allow it.” That’s how it should be. Your mind is worried about what is happening because what is happening is going to take all the functions of mind out of its control. Hence, the mind is creating questions: “Am I waiting for something to grow strong enough or am I just lazy? Or am I waiting for Godot?” You are not waiting for any Godot.
Meditation is simply a waiting for the unknown, for the unpredictable, for the incomprehensible. And the more the waiting is pure, the more grace arises out of it. No hurry, no desiring, no expectations, just waiting and millions of things will happen. In fact, the things that are going to happen to a meditator are so vast you cannot conceive of them, you cannot have even dreamt of them; they are beyond the capacity of the mind to conceive.
You just wait and let things happen to you—not according to you, but according to existence itself. Existence has not to be according to you; you have to be in tune with existence, according to existence.
This is the only difference between the non-meditator and the meditator. The non-meditator always wants existence according to his ideas, and falls naturally into miserable states, because existence is too big; it cannot follow your ideas, your prayers, your expectations, your demands. The proverb is true that man proposes and God disposes — but there is no God to dispose. In fact, in the very proposal, you have disposed of it. You have created a failure for yourself because you wanted to succeed.
So there is nothing to expect, nothing to desire. Existence is so abundant that if you are simply waiting it starts showering flowers on you. A life of waiting, without any expectations, is the only religious life I know of.
A Broadway bookie was given a parrot in lieu of cash payment. The bird’s vocabulary included choice phrases in English, French, Spanish and German. Sensing a winner, the bookie hauled the bird off to his favorite bar. “Speaks four languages,” he said to the bartender, who snorted in disbelief. “Wanna bet this bird can speak four languages?” the bookie challenged.
Annoyed, the bartender finally agreed to a ten-dollar wager. The bookie turned to the parrot and said, “Parlez-vous Francais?” There was no response. On the street the bookie glared at the bird, “You fink!” he exclaimed, “I’ve got ten bucks riding on you and you clam up on me. I oughta strangle you.”
“Don’t be a jerk,” the parrot replied. “Just think of the odds you’ll get tomorrow.”
Just wait for tomorrow. My own experience is, every day brings so much that when I think retrospectively I cannot conceive that I could have expected it—and it always brings in abundance! Existence is so compassionate and so sharing, but only to those who don’t demand. Desirelessness is the foundation of all great happenings.
Sagaram, just wait in trust and everything that existence has will be revealed to you.
The Lone Ranger is about to be hanged by rustlers who caught him spying on their camp. His only hope is Tonto who managed to escape and go for help. As the bandits are putting the noose around the Lone Ranger’s neck, he sees three horses approaching at a gallop. Sure enough, as they get closer, he can see that it is Tonto on the first horse, but he can’t make out who the other two riders are.
The Lone Ranger finally sees that Tonto is riding with two beautiful naked women. The riders burst into the robbers’ camp and Tonto rides up to the Lone Ranger saying, “Kemosabe, I have returned with the people you asked me to get.”
“Tonto, you idiot,” says the Lone Ranger, “I told you to go get a posse!”
It is better, Sagaram, not to ask for anything; otherwise, there is always frustration.
Don’t ask, and you will be fulfilled.
Just trust silently and wait, and miracles are always happening to the meditators. The greatest miracle is the revelation of the mystery of oneself.
You are perfectly on the right path. Beware of your mind—it will try to disturb you, to distract you, to create doubts. Just put it aside. This great affair has nothing to do with the mind.
From The Invitation, Discourse #3
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