What is it that happens when one becomes awakened?
Nothing special, no big deal; nothing really happens. All happening stops, the world stops. The smoke from the eyes disappears; you start looking at things as they are.
Don’t make much fuss about it. Sooner or later many of you are going to become enlightened. Don’t make much fuss about it. When you become enlightened, just keep quiet. Don’t say anything to anybody – it is nothing to brag about.
When the nearsighted Nancy first met Kazantzakis, she thought he looked like a Greek god. But now that she has been fitted with contact lenses she thinks he looks like a goddamned Greek.
That’s what happens: you start seeing things as they are. Greek gods become goddamned Greeks.
How to go through the journey of Four Bodies – Part 1
It is possible that people don’t know about this journey at all and that all the bodies have their own qualities and nature. To awaken the bodies means to enter them. Soon as the first body is purified you enter the next body. Bodies wake up systematically in a sequence, they are joined together. All bodies get over one by one, and then they all collapse.
First is the isthool sharir (gross body), it will be awakened by hatha yoga – pranayama and yoga. A full-forced hatha yoga will get you entry to the first body. Second body is the bhava sharir, it is awakened by mantra yoga. The day your wakefulness towards the mantra is so absolute that it is mastered, you’ll enter the second body. The third body is sookshma sharir, one cannot enter this body without the bhakti yoga or devotion, when you live the full dimension of devotion with the remembrance of the supreme, filling up the supreme in each breath, then the whole culmination of devotion rises in you and you enter the third body. The Fourth body is manas sharir, it is awakened with raj yoga. It is a way of being a witness sakshi.
Work has to be done on the First body because of the way it is now, it needs to be made free from lethargy. Sleep and eating will be reduced as a result. If one is fond of too much eating, then he is below the first body, which is an animal body. You are roaming with the reservoir of sleeping energy, you have become dense and are not transparent. With the Hatha Yoga, whole of hidden energy will burst out and you’ll be out of the gravity, denseness will be gone and fluidity will be there, in this fluidity will occur mantra yoga.
Dynamic, Kundalini and Nadabrahma meditations come under hatha yoga, if these meditations done 4-6-8 months vigorously or if for a year or two, one can enter the first body and for the first time will experience the inner self not the outwardly self.
Everyone has to go through the Mantra yoga, today too there is a lot of importance of the mantra. Chant anything – Ram or Om or Om Namah Shivaye or Om Osho Namaye or Osho or your own name, but chant with such concentration, wakefulness and understanding that you become the mantra yourself. Chanting om mantra is the best because Om is a complete word, this word is rounded and doesn’t have corners and doesn’t prick. Ram is also good (not the Dashratha’s Ram) Practicing mantra will let you have control over the speech, you’ll understand the mystery of your speech.
Third body is awakened with devotion or Bhakti Yoga, this phase will definitely arrive, and you will become a Meera. Devotion is the result of pure sentiments. Devotion makes you the Supreme’s person, Supreme will accept you. If you have not lived the devotion, you cannot practice the witnessing sakshi. If the devotion is pure, witness will occur. The thoughts will be pure in witnessing.
Fourth body is awakened with raj yoga. In the raj yoga, you have to be a witness every moment, witness to every happening, there is nothing else here except for witnessing and it’ll happen on its own. Witnessing doesn’t occur to anyone because the previous three levels are bad and the unconscious catches you so quickly that you cannot become witness to thoughts, emotions or anything. If all three levels of yours are not awakened, how will you go for the journey to the fourth one? You will turn schizophrenic, you’ll fall sick, whoever tries practice for the fourth or the fifth’s body directly will become neurotic.
For the fifth body, you don’t have to do anything, it becomes the body of the supreme, the body of the soul atmik. If this journey starts, there is no other journey left after this because now you are not there. You are only four bodies, in the fifth one you are finished, the ego completely departs.
You have to go through the four bodies, the ego will be crystallized only with this sequential journey. The practice has to start from the first body, where you are now.
After Hatha Yoga, the mantra will come to you. It will be revealed to you but the most difficult is to enter the first body, people remain standing out of it.
If the hatha yoga is completed you’ll definitely enter the mantra yoga because hatha yoga will throw you into the mantra yoga. When mantra awakens, there will occur such a devotion within you that you’ll want to worship pebbles and stones, will want to touch everyone’s feet. The ego that satisfies will become the nature of the soul, it will dissolve into the witness. People begin wakefulness hosh from here in the fourth body.
If any delusion has set in about your practice then reverse the practice, go back to the first step, complete it to move to the next bodies. I’m pointing to all the friends if the practice has not been fruitful then there is a mistake, and the mistake is that the beginning has not been proper. Everyone has to check within – who needs to start with what body and then start it, i have told the Sutras and the way is this. It is not possible that the practice does not fructify when one has walked through the sequence, it will, it is my guaranty.
How to know what body we are in? – Part 2
It is the quality and the nature of the bodies – If you have come back into the first body, there is lethargy. As it purifies, lethargy will be reduced, sleep and hunger will go down. If you are in the second body, which is a body of mind, here is the distortion of the sentiments, you know it, the crooked thoughts like – killing someone, robbing someone, having sly intentions. Distorted sentiments means to ‘take away than to give’. If this distortion is persistent then your second body has not been purified. Only mantra can purify it. Now you fall back and will practice more for the first body to go to the second body, going up and down like this will go on. When you’ll be crystallized in the first one then only you’ll be free from it, and then you won’t have to come back to it.
Once free from the second body you won’t need the Mantra practice again, free from third body, devotion will be over, no need of any devotional sentiment. In fourth the witnessing will take birth and in the fifth, the soul will be born in you.
Hatha yoga will throw away all the lethargy because lethargy and religion have got nothing do with each other, a lethargic person cannot be on a religious journey. Then mind is very fickle, mind carries a lot of distortions, which goes away with the mantra yoga because all the fickleness will be drunk by the mantra. Thoughts will be stopped, they all will be collected and absorbed in the mantra. And you will have full control over your speech.
All this will go on naturally, nature works up till the fourth body. Sometimes accidentally too people reach the fourth body, after meditation for four days if the journey has been over for the last bodies. The journey of the last life carries only up till fourth body. The fifth body has no such play of the last birth, its practice will only be in the present life. If in this life all your four bodies are purified, if the Raj Yoga has fructified, the old journey will be added and continued in this life. If its the journey of the fifth body then this birth will be the last one, you won’t take a birth again. If there still a journey, it will be in an esoteric way, where there is no need to take up a body.
People become deities Devatas, and live on their deity’s plane Dev yoni. Their journey goes on by helping many people and they are full of compassion. For all of us also there is continued support from some or the other esoteric plane, we cannot do it alone.
On the journey for the fifth body, up till fourth the nature will create obstacles. After fifth all obstacles will be removed because now you have been caught by some esoteric support. Now whatever happens here you won’t be scared, wherever you fall, you’ll rise. This is the state in the fifth body.
After this nothing can be talked about because there are many esoteric talks.
Our understanding cannot go beyond fourth body, the Manas Sharir. There are reasons for that, it is most difficult that someone leaves the first platform, generally the whole life is spent and gets over at the very first platform. There is no progress beyond the gross body. If one is not a practitioner, the understanding to go beyond the gross body won’t be born in him. In the practice we understand the gross body and enter into it. The difference between a practice and non-practice is that when there is any pain one experiences the other body otherwise not, but a practitioner experiences another body without any pain or problem arising.
What is the crisis of the questioner’s here is crisis of everyone, actually the journey to the fourth body remains as it is. it is not that you have gone above any of the bodies, these are four levels of only one body, like a building has four floors. And you have believed the fourth floor to be the last one, but there is a journey beyond it. If any practitioner returns in the practice means he hasn’t gone beyond the fourth body.
First he needs to accept that he goes to the fourth floor and its roots are in the first floor because the building is one, so he goes to the fourth floor and comes back to the first one. This works on the grace, when you are on the first, you get the grace of second and so on, when on fourth you get grace of fifth, when the practitioner cannot understand this and thinks he has reached and there is no further destination. The day this is felt he will fall down because the journey is still on.
If feels there is nothing left to cover and this is fourth and the last destination, so you’ll have to come down from the fourth because you are in the momentum still.
Question : Why does the energy move in circles?
Baba: The manner of practice is that the steps below have to be broken, if you have lived the first body properly, it should be finished, because you have lived it, used it and now it got captivated (taken over) by the next body, then you have lived the second and second got captivated by the third and so on, when this happens then what remains to go back to, in circles? If you are going round in circles it means that you are still left with all four bodies, you go from first to fourth and from fourth to first, your energy is moving in circles otherwise the energy does not move like this.
There is a lack of wakefulness, dedication and faith, there is a lack of practice. One has to look at the first body in a complete wakefulness. Journey from the first to fourth body happens naturally also. But man falls off only when he has not wound up all the bodies. When you are stable in the fifth all these bodies will be wrapped up.
In five bodies there are actually only four, fifth is something else, it is a union of these four. In the fifth body the practitioner is steady, he develops compassion, amiability, love and many other qualities will take birth. Why will he go down now? He will go on to compassion. He will be full of love for the entire cosmos, from every child to ant to mountains. Now the course of his energy will be in a different flow.
Up till fourth body, no one has a center, you are falling rising and falling. When all four bodies rise and dissolve into the fifth body then for the first one finds a center. Then you are crystallized in yourself, and there you cannot experience yourself as a person, no matter how hard the world tries you don’t perceive yourself to be a person because there is no notion to be a person is left anymore. There is only one notion, the notion of the totality. You become the whole samashti, not a person. Then there are journeys of the whole, there is a play of the cosmos after the fifth body – the cosmic body brahma kaya and then the nothingness shunyata.
The role of ego ahankaar in the practice – Part 3
This is the story of many practitioners. If this journey is not carried out in a well-organized way, being on fourth body they feel as if they have reached the sixth or fifth, now they come down, go up and then come down, this irony remains with such practitioners.
There is a huge role of ego (ahankaar) here, an amazing role. A worldly person doesn’t have such a strong ego, really a worldly person has no ego at all. The person who hasn’t touched the fourth body, ego hasn’t touched him only. Your ego lives in many pieces in the worldly life, there is neither ego nor determination in the world. This kind of ego is ready to bow down anywhere, ready to compromise anywhere, anyone can lure your ego for a little money. Is this called an ego? This is no ego, no one is an egoist here and I’ll excuse a worldly person for it. Position, wealth etc. is a cheap ego.
A real egoist is a saint, why is he an egoist, because there can be no journey without an ego. What happens with a saint is the ego begins to experience contentment, because it starts to become integrated. A worldly person’s ego is scanty and scattered. Try and understand what I’m saying here, the ego for the first time births in a saint.
Ego is not a bad thing, it is the ego only that we need to unify, integrate.
In the world, the one who is earning wealth, one in politics, one for a designation, all are trying to crystallize in the ego, get integrated in it, but even after a lot of efforts this doesn’t happen to the people in the worldly quests, ego doesn’t get crystallized, it happens to a very few men but then a derangement starts to set in. Don’t understand it wrongly.
Ego gets crystallized in a practitioner, the journey is not possible without the ego. It is only the ego that does the journey, I practice, and I want to know the supreme, here who is this ‘I’, who wants to know the supreme, wants to gain the supreme?
If you have ever possessed anything, then that only thing is the ego, and it is shallow, so you are suffering its pain because when ego splits, it cannot get the full fun of itself in the pieces. It is in pieces, broken, ready to bow, ready to be sold, ready to diminish, this kind of ego does not get contented.
A saint’s ago is amazingly contented and what is this contentment about? When a saint with his continuous practice reaches the fifth body, internally he starts to feel – ‘I’m a god, I’m everything”. Unless the ego can say this that ‘it is a god’, it cannot be contented. Really it has been a big play (leela), been a big journey for the ego – in the journey of the four bodies, you have given away the first body then second and when given away the fourth body a little bit, you get the fifth body in the form of ego as ‘self’ asmitaa.
But there is a tough wall in between the fourth and the fifth body. It is a wall of the ego itself. From here the dissolution will begin. The energy works up till here, energy works only as far as there is no contentment of the ego. Ego vanishes as the gap of the energy stops – this rise and fall of the energy, from first to fourth body and reverse, this is how the journey of the ego goes, all the superficial play of the ego, it keeps producing the energy in order to satisfy itself.
The integration occurs in the fifth body. In the fifth body the ego has to be crystallized, consolidate. The practitioner feels that he has reached because it is the ego that has to reach, the ego feels the contentment. In the beginning of the fifth body, there is an amazing contentment, which can be its barrier too. The journey halts for many practitioners, it takes many lifetimes for further journey. It requires a grace of Guru and the second important thing that it requires is ‘understanding’.
Now there is no game of the energy in you, rise and fall of the energy becomes a kiddish stuff, now there is nothing except for dying. When anything arrives at its full destiny it begins to be erased. This is the law of this universe; either you are into the process of building up or fading away, when the building process is over, you get into the process of fading away.
If you live with utter wakefulness, the ego builds up as far it can, will reach the role it can. There the ego experiences that it needs nothing, as if it is contented, it is out of everything but it itself is sitting still.
Here the practitioner needs to be very cautious because his ego is crystallized and others have shallow egos, others will be attracted, they will love to hear from the practitioner because they get some contentment out of people with crystallized ego, 99% do not understand this and their marketing starts off, they get into talking out. They fail to break the wall between the fourth and the fifth body. This wall is so intense that breaking is almost a death. The death of ego feels like you are going on committing suicide. The ego has to die and it has been the ego that has bought you up till here, it has made you integrated, reached you a state. The journey now has bought you as far as it could. Now after this, it is the ego that has to disappear. It can disappear.
Now the practitioner has to get into seclusion, talk to no one, no second person should know, it’s a very secret affair. If such a state has built up for someone, he should get away from the people, people will catch you, will flatter you, will get you trapped and can bring you down into the hell. This is the game of nature, it is such a beautiful state and there is a trap here too. Nature traps you in a very sweet way, it will get you to be worshiped and you feel that you have arrived. All is the game of the ego, you have crystallized it so much with the practice that you begin to in-cash it. Here the practitioner will fall, rise and fall again, will experience hell and heaven 2-4 times in a day, but the ego is crystallized enough that even after falling, it won’t stay there, he’ll rise and come back to the same place.
In a saint the same ego gets intensified, gets crystallized and the same ego when erased within you, becomes the soul. The ego departs, melts and the soul will manifest. So long you take the juice out of the ego, the soul keeps sleeping in it. It’s not anything different, believe ego is a sleeping soul, not any other thing. That’s why it has so much power in it. When it starts to crystallize, the man gets specific vibrations around him, the aura abhamandal changes. The ego crystallizes for a worldly man too, but there remains a demand in a worldly man’s ego, so that ego is impotent. But an abstainer sanyasi is an ultimate egoist, it sparkles in their eyes and it should sparkle because their ego has crystallized so much that no one can defer from what they say.
Stronger the practice more the rise in intensity, this intensity has its own beauty. If there is no intensity, there will be no jump, when anything that comes into its completeness, starts to erase. This is natural.
Those who are experiencing rise and fall in the practice, they need to be very watchful. If they collect even four followers for themselves, the followers can spoil the whole life-work for a practitioner. The soul is nourishing like being in the womb. You have to walk very carefully in the ego, like a pregnant woman walks. You need to be alert completely towards yourself, towards your ‘I’. Now your ‘I’ is not an ordinary ‘I”, it is very strong, and you should not have any association with it. Whenever ‘I’ appears you must stand away from it completely, do not take juice out of it and here the ‘I’ is most juicy, because in journeys of four bodies in many lifetimes it has turned absolute now, after millions of years. This can be a fortune and misfortune both.
Once the practitioner crosses the 5th body, he is not there anymore, there is only the soul and the soul gets on to the journey to supreme, it fades away and dissolves into the supreme. Here, there is a thick wall of void shunaya, not material but an incredible wall.
-Baba Purnanand Bharati
Translation from a Hindi Discourse on Baba’s Telegram group
My effort here, Vimal, is to make you drop all future, all hope, all illusion, and just relax in the moment knowing perfectly well that this is the only moment which exists. All else is either memory or imagination. […]
Vimal, the way to understand me is to always remember that I am insisting – from every corner, in every possible way – only on a single target, and that is your innermost being. Whatever I may have said… never be too much concerned with what is said. Be concerned about what it indicates.
I want you to drop all games – worldly games, spiritual games, games that the whole of humanity has played up to now. These games keep you retarded. These games hinder you from growing into consciousness, into your own ultimate flowering. I want to cut away all this rubbish that prevents you.
I want to leave you alone, absolutely alone, so that you cannot take anybody’s help, so you cannot cling to any prophet, so that you cannot think that Gautam Buddha is going to save you. Left alone – utterly alone – you are bound to find your innermost center.
There is no way, nowhere to go, no advisor, no teacher, no master. It seems hard, it seems harsh, but I am doing it because I love you, and the people who have not done it have not loved you at all. They loved themselves and they loved to have a big crowd around themselves – the bigger the crowd, the more they feel nourished in their egos.
That’s why I called even enlightenment the last game. The sooner you drop it, the better. Why not just simply be? Why unnecessarily hurry here and there? You are what existence wants you to be. Just relax.
Excerpt from Om Mani Padme Hum: The Sound of Silence, The Diamond in the Lotus, Chapter Nine
You say, “Accept yourself as you are,” and “Unless you are reborn you cannot enter the kingdom of God.” Please comment on this apparent contradiction.
Divakar, all contradictions are apparent. If you meditate a little bit, you will see that there is no contradiction. I say, “Accept yourself as you are.” And I also say, “Unless you are reborn you cannot enter the kingdom of God.”
Now, you are creating the contradiction by not meditating on it.
The way to be reborn is to accept yourself as you are: this is how one is reborn. You live in a kind of rejection; you don’t accept yourself as you are. It is very rare to find a person who accepts himself – because the moment he accepts himself, he is reborn, he is enlightened.
You don’t accept yourself, you go on rejecting yourself. You are constantly in search of ways of improving your image. You want to become more beautiful, healthier, stronger, famous, creative, this and that. You are not contented the way you are.
It seems so impossible to be contented the way we are, because the mind can always imagine better things. You can have a little longer nose, or a little shorter. You can have a little more intelligence, a little more physical beauty, a little more charisma, a little more psychological integrity, a little more powerful personality. You can always imagine, and your imagination makes you discontented with yourself as you are.
If roses were to think, they would be discontented too, because they would see: “Look in the pond, the lotus flower is so big, and we are so small.” They would feel very, very inferior, they would star suffering from an inferiority complex, and they would start searching for some psychoanalyst. Then small bushes would feel very much depressed, because big trees, cedars of Lebanon, are reaching to the stars, and we are so small. Why has God been so unjust to us?” Then the whole existence would be in a tremendous discontent.
But only man is in discontent. Bushes are happy being bushes, and roses are happy being roses, and grass flowers are happy being grass flowers. Birds are happy being birds – nobody wants to be anybody else.
This contentment is all around if you just look. If you open your eyes you will see contentment showering from every tree, from every star, from every rock. Just remove man from the world, and discontentment is removed.
Why is man discontented? Because he compares. And all comparisons are false, because you are absolutely alone. Like you there is nobody else, so all comparison is false. You can compare one Fiat car with another Fiat car, but you cannot compare a Fiat car with a dog – or can you? Each human being is so unique, it is impossible to compare him. But you go on comparing.
You have been taught to compare. Your whole education depends on comparison, and it depends on comparison because it wants to create a competitive fever in you. The society has not yet known any other way to make you do something, the only way it knows is to create a competitive fever: create a neurosis, create a longing, an ill longing, to be the first. The society has not yet discovered any better way to make you creative. “Compete, compare, defeat – reach first place.” It teaches you conflict, violence.
And to be in that conflict, naturally it teaches you discontentment with yourself – otherwise how will you improve? It gives you great ideals: “You have to be like this.” And then suddenly you look so short, so small, so tiny, so trivial. The ideal is so big, so great, and you are so small. You shrink: a great rejection arises in you, you start hating yourself. This is the whole misery that people are passing through.
I teach you acceptance. There is no need to compete, there is no need to compare, there is no need to be ambitious. Then you become afraid: “if there is no ambition and no competition and no comparison, then how am I going to grow?”
Growth has nothing to do with these things. Growth has something to do with energy; growth is an energy phenomenon. When you don’t compare, when you don’t compete, when you are not ambitious, when you don’t want to be anybody other than who you are, you accumulate much energy – because all that energy that was being wasted in competition and conflict, is no longer wasted. You become a reservoir.
Out of that energy comes creativity. Creativity has nothing to do with competition; it has something to do with overflowing energy. William Blake is right, he says, “Energy is delight.”
When you are overflowing with energy, aglow with energy, aflame with energy, it itself becomes creativity. You start growing, but now the growth has a totally different connotation. It has no goal – it has a source but no goal. Now you are not thinking what to be; you are not following a particular goal, a particular plan. You are such a big river that through your rushing energy you will reach the ocean.
No river is searching for the ocean, but rivers reach the ocean; and no river is competing with any other river, but all rivers reach the ocean. The river reaches the ocean through overflowing water. That very energy is enough to take it to the ocean.
You can become an ocean of creativity if you are contented. Then creativity arises in you, grows in you – not for any ideal, but just because you have too much: you have to share it. You have to sing a song, because the heart is so full and overflowing. You have to pour it into songs. You cannot contain the energy, hence the overflow happens. And that overflow is creativity.
When a tree is overflowing with energy it blossoms in thousands of flowers. Those flowers are just a simple statement from the tree: “Now I cannot contain any more. The colors are too many in me, and the fragrances are so much that I have to burst forth.” The tree is not fulfilling any ideal; it has no goal.
To have a goal is to be miserable, not to have a goal is to be blissful. The person who accepts himself in totality – with not even a slight grudge against himself, not even a slight rejection, not even a shadow of rejection – that man becomes enlightened immediately. Enlightenment has not to be achieved somewhere in the future. If you accept yourself, if you relax into your being, it can happen just this very moment, now, here.
So I say: Accept yourself as you are, because this is the way to be reborn. And I also say: Unless you are reborn, you cannot enter the kingdom of God.
Please remember, the second statement is not for you to create a goal: “I have to be reborn, I have to enter into the kingdom of God.” If it becomes a goal, you have misunderstood me. It is not a goal, it is a consequence. A consequence of what? A consequence of total acceptance: tathata, suchness. “I am this, and I am utterly happy with this.” In that utter happiness and contentment is the miracle, the transformation. You are reborn.
And remember again, I am not saying to use “accept yourself” as a method so that you can be reborn; I am not saying that either, otherwise you have created a goal again. You say, “Okay, if this is the way to become enlightened, if this is the way to enter into the kingdom of God, then I am ready to accept myself.” this is not acceptance. You are still thinking of the kingdom of God, you are still thinking of becoming enlightened. You are still competing with the Buddhas. You are still thinking, “How did this man Gautam Buddha become enlightened, and I have not yet? How dare this man Jesus become Christ, and I am here and I have not yet become Christ?”
Friedrich Nietzsche has said exactly that. He has said, “I cannot accept God, because if there is a God then what am I doing here? And how can anybody else become a God before me? Hence I reject the idea: there is no God.” Because if there has to be a God, then Friedrich Nietzsche has to be first. It is better to reject the whole idea: “There is no kingdom of God, there is no enlightenment.” Otherwise it creates a feeling of great inferiority: “Others have reached, and I have not reached yet. Am I lagging so far behind?”
So please don’t make it a goal. My statement about being reborn is just a consequence. The source is acceptance, and the consequence is entry into the kingdom of God.
But the mind is very cunning – beware of it. The mind can say deep down in you, “So okay, if this is the key then I will use it, but I have to enter into the kingdom of God.” And you have missed in that very cunningness.
Things are very simple. What I am saying is so simple; it has no complexity in it. But you can create complexity. Your mind can create such confusion, such a chaos! And the basic trick, the basic strategy of the mind is to make consequences goals.
Never make any goal, there is none. We are already at the source; we need not be anywhere else.
In deep acceptance you fall back into the source. That very falling back into the source is a rebirth, a resurrection. You disappear as a separate entity and you appear as the mystic union: unio mystica.
This question has been hovering in me for years. A few times you have talked around it, but this has mystified me more, so please enlighten. When and where did enlightenment happen to Jesus? Was he born enlightened? – As it is said some three wise men from the East travelled to have darshan of the baby Jesus. Or did enlightenment happen to Jesus when he was secretly and anonymously travelling in Tibet and India, visiting Buddhist monasteries? Or did enlightenment happen to Jesus when he was initiated by John the Baptist in the river Jordan? Or did enlightenment happen to Jesus when he was on the cross saying ‘Lord, the kingdom come, thy will be done’?
There are three stages of enlightenment.
The first is when the first glimpse happens. I call it mini-satori. When, for the first time, for a single moment mind is not functioning, there is a gap – no thought between you and existence. You and existence, you and existence… for a moment… and the meeting, and the merging, and the communion, and the orgasm… but for a moment. And from that moment the seed will be in your heart and growing.
The second I call satori: that is when you have become capable of retaining this gap as long as you want. For hours together, for days together you can remain in this interval, in this utter aloneness, in God, with God, as God. But a little effort is still needed on your part. If you drop the effort the satori disappears. The first satori, the mini-satori, happened almost an accident – you were not even expecting it. How can you expect? You had not known it before, you had never tasted it.
How can you expect it? It came just out of the blue. Yes, you were doing many things – praying, meditating, dancing, singing – but they were all like groping in the dark. You were groping.
It will not happen if you are not groping at all. It happens only to ’gropers’, real gropers – they go on groping, they never feel tired and exhausted, and they never feel hopeless. Millions of times they are defeated in their effort, and nothing happens, but they go on and on. Their passion for God is so tremendous. They can accept all kinds of defeats and frustrations, but their search continues.
Unwavering, they go on groping. The darkness is great, it seems to be almost endless, but their hope is greater than the darkness. That is the meaning of faith; they grope through faith. Faith means hoping for that which seems almost impossible. Faith means hoping against all hope. Faith means trying to see that which you have not seen, and you cannot even be certain whether it exists or not. A great passion is needed to have that much faith.
So to a groper who lives in faith and goes on and on, nothing ever prevents him. No failure ever settles in him; his journey continues. He is the pilgrim. Then one day it comes just out of the blue.
You were not expecting. Unawares, it comes close to you and surrounds you. For a moment you cannot even believe… How can you believe? – For millions of lives a person has been groping, and it has not happened. The first time it looks almost like imagination, dream. But it is there, and it is so real that all that you have known before as real pales before it, becomes very faint. It is so real that it carries its certainty intrinsically. It is self-evident. You cannot suspect it. That is the criterion of whether the mini-satori has happened or not: you cannot doubt it. You can try, but you cannot doubt it. It is so certain that no doubt arises in that moment. It is simply there.
It is like the sun has risen… how can you doubt?
Then the second becomes a more conscious groping. Now you know it is; now you know it has happened. Now you know it has even happened to you! Now there is a great certainty. Now faith is not needed, now experience is enough. Now belief is not needed. Now its certainty permeates your whole being, you are full of it. Now you grope more consciously, you make efforts in the right direction. Now you know how it happened, when it happened, in what space it became possible.
You were dancing? – Then what was happening when it happened? In what way did the contact become possible? By and by, it happens again and again, and you can make out, figure out, reckon out how it happens, in what mood. In what mood do you fall in tune with it and it happens? Now things become more clear, now it is not just waiting in the darkness. You can start moving, you can have a direction.
Still you falter, still sometimes you fall, still sometimes it disappears for months. But never again can doubt arise in you. The doubt has been killed by the first satori. Then, more and more, it will come.
And sooner or later you will become capable of bringing it on order. Whenever you want you can create that milieu in you which brings it. You can relax, if it comes in relaxation; you can dance, if it comes, in dance. You can go under the sky if it comes there. You can watch a rose flower if it happens there. You can go and float in a river if it happens there.
That’s how all the methods have been discovered. They have been discovered by people when they found out that in a certain situation – make certain arrangements – it happens. Those became methods. By and by you become very, very certain that if you desire it, any moment you will be able, because you can move your focus towards it. You can move your whole consciousness; you can direct your being.
Now you become able to see that it is always there; just your contact is needed. It is almost like your radio or like your TV: it is always there, sounds are always passing; you just have to tune the radio to a certain station – and the song, and the news. This is the second stage. But still, effort needed to tune. You are not continuously tuned on your own, you have to work it out. Some days it is easy, some days it is hard. If you are in a negative mood it is hard, if you are angry, it is hard. If you are loving it is easier. In the early morning it is easier, in the evening it is more difficult. Alone on a mountain it is easier, in the market-place it is more difficult. So you start coming closer and closer, but still effort is needed.
Then the third thing happens. When you become so capable of finding it that any moment, whenever you want it – not a single moment is lost – you immediately can pinpoint it, then the third thing happens. It becomes a natural quality. That I call samadhi.
Satori one, satori two, satori three… The first satori must have happened somewhere in the East – in Tibet or in India. Jesus was with Buddhist Masters. The first satori must have happened somewhere here, because to the Jews samadhi had never been a concern. Jesus brings something very foreign to the Jewish world: he introduces Buddha into the Jewish world. It must have happened somewhere in Nalanda, where he stayed for many years. But he was travelling – he was in Egypt, he was in India, in Tibet. So nobody can be certain of where it happened. But more possibility is India: it remains, for centuries, the country where satori has been more available than anywhere else – for a certain reason – because so many people have been meditating here. Their meditation has created very potential spots, very available spots. It must have happened somewhere here, but no record is there, so I’m not saying anything historical.
But about the second: it is certain it happened in the River Jordan with John the Baptist when he initiated Jesus into his path – the path of the Essenes. He was a great Master, John the Baptist, a very revolutionary prophet. The second satori must have happened there. It is depicted as a white dove descending on Jesus. The white dove has always been the symbol of peace, silence.
That is the symbol for satori – the unknown descending. The second satori must have happened there. And John the Baptist said ‘My work is finished. The man has come who will take it over from me. Now I can renounce and go into the mountains. I was waiting for this man.’
And the third happened just on the cross – the last effort of the ego – very tiny, but still… Jesus must have desired how things should be in some way. Deep down, in some unconscious nook or comer of his being, he must have been hoping that God would save him. And God never moves according to you. Man proposes and God disposes – that’s how he teaches you to disappear, that’s how he teaches you not to will on your own, not to have a private will. And the last lesson happened on the cross, at the last moment. Jesus shouted, almost in agony ‘Why have you forsaken me? Why have you deserted me? What wrong have I done?’ But he was a man of great insight – the man of second satori. Immediately he must have become aware that this was wrong: ‘That means I still have a desire of my own, a will of my own. That means I still am not totally in God. My surrender is still only ninety-nine per cent.’
And a surrender that is ninety-nine per cent is a no-surrender, because surrender is one hundred per cent. A circle is a circle only when it is complete. You can’t call a half-circle a half-circle, because ’circle’ means complete. There are no half-circles. There is no approximate truth. The approximate truth is still a lie; either it is true or it is not true. There is nothing like approximate truth, and there is nothing like approximate surrender.
In that moment he realized. He relaxed, he surrendered. He said ‘Let Thy kingdom come. Who am I to interfere? Let thy will be done’… and the third satori, samadhi. That moment, Jesus disappeared. And I call that moment his resurrection. That is the moment Buddha says: Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, bodhisvaha: Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone altogether beyond. What ecstasy! Alleluia! That is the moment of absolute benediction. Jesus became God.The Son became Father in that moment; all distinction disappeared. The last barrier dissolved, Jesus had come home.
Consciousness has been at the center of my life for almost 50 years, as it has been for so many of us. But, I am a practical sort of guy and so am not very interested in the conceptual “consciousness.” On the contrary, the consciousness that I am interested in is the “being consciousness.” There are many neo-advaita teachers around who tell us that we are always consciousness. And, since we are always awareness, consciousness, there is nothing to be done. Osho is much more compassionate. He too tells us that we are already Buddhas but he also reminds us that the difference between us and him is that he is aware of his Buddhahood. He is experiencing his Buddhahood and we are unawake to its splendor.
In his compassion, he introduced 112 meditation techniques. He created active meditations to prepare the ground for meditation to take root and, he distilled all meditation techniques down to the key element of witnessing.
For me personally, I have found that the best way to become aware—to awaken the witness—is to begin by being aware of my unconsciousness, my unawareness, my dreaming mind.
Most every morning I wake up around 3:30 a.m., meaning at around that time I become aware that I am no longer sleeping. Immediately I begin to look at the activity of the mind, the tail end of the dreaming cycle. I find that it is this seeing the unconscious that enables becoming more conscious or we could say less unconscious.
As I continue lying in the bed, looking directly at the tail of the dream, this awakeningness becomes more pronounced. I find this to be the best time to get up and sit in meditation.
This sitting in meditation is more of the same but now I am sitting erect and perhaps more attuned to the watching.
At first while I am watching I catch thought streams, some thought about this or that, but as I watch without grasping the thought and without rejecting the thought but just looking directly at the movement of thought, it becomes less defined, more opaque.
At this point, it is the energy of the mind that is being seen rather than individual thoughts. At the same time, I am now aware of the watching itself rather than that which is being seen. With my awareness of the watchingness, the previous objects of consciousness begin to slip out of view.
This is not a permanent situation. At some point some thought appears and either I am dragged off until I remember again or I am awake enough to catch it at the beginning and again without grasping or rejecting there is the remembrance of watching and the watched subsides.
I find that the unconscious stream is in an inverse relationship to how conscious I am in that moment. The more conscious, the less of the stream. The less conscious, the more present the stream. So, it is by seeing my unconscious that I become more conscious.
My understanding of Ramana Maharshi’s method of inquiry is a thought appears, one inquires to whom does the thought appear and the answer is to me. Then one inquires more deeply “Who am I?” I see that as another way of saying what I described above.
Osho’s is even simpler, it is watching, witnessing. Watching without judgement, without jumping onto the back of the thought and without pushing away in rejection. Just watching and as we watch without reaction the other steps that I described above happen naturally. As thought becomes less, I automatically become aware of my self, provided that I haven’t fallen asleep.
“Meditation starts by being separate from the mind, by being a witness. That is the only way of separating yourself from anything. If you are looking at the light, naturally one thing is certain, you are not the light, you are the one who is looking at it. If you are watching the flowers, one thing is certain, you are not the flower, you are the watcher. Watching is the key of meditation:
Watch your mind.
Don’t do anything—no repetition of mantra, no repetition of the name of God—just watch whatever the mind is doing. Don’t disturb it, don’t prevent it, don’t repress it; don’t do anything at all on your part. You just be a watcher, and the miracle of watching is meditation. As you watch, slowly, slowly mind becomes empty of thoughts; but you are not falling asleep, you are becoming more alert, more aware.
As the mind becomes completely empty, your whole energy becomes a flame of awakening. This flame is the result of meditation. So you can say meditation is another name of watching, witnessing, observing—without any judgment, without any evaluation. Just by watching, you immediately get out of the mind.”
-Osho, from The Invitation, Discourse 21
So, this has been my experience. By understanding and seeing my un-consciousness, un-consciousness is transformed into consciousness, from unconsciousness to consciousness. This is how I come out of mind. This is not enlightenment; it is an awakening before enlightenment. It is nothing special and we are all capable of coming out of mind. It is just a question of seeing the identification with what we are Not that we discover that which we Are.
Along the way, a couple of points have become clear and perhaps they could be helpful for someone else.
Number one and this is of course obvious but nevertheless important to state. In order for the transformation of consciousness to take place, we have to look directly at the mind. It is not enough to know about meditation, we have to meditate. We have to get to know intimately how we perpetuate unawareness. We have to meditate, did I already say that. We have to meditate.
A second point that one day became clear is, we are not to do anything with the mind, or any content of consciousness. Transformation happens but not by anything we do. Our job is to become conscious and again we do that by watching our unconscious. It is through watching the unconscious that the energy becomes conscious. I used to feel that it was the content that was important in the watching. Somewhere along the way a shift happened so that it is the watcher that is of importance not what is being watched. We watch our unconsciousness simply to become conscious.
And thirdly, it is by watching without reacting that we begin to become aware of being conscious, of awareness itself, not as an object but as a living, existential, experiencing.
Finally, these awakenings, this watchfulness that arises in meditation, has to be taken into daily life. With this watchingness, there are more moments of action and fewer of reaction, but when reaction appears, it is watched without judgment just like the watching of thought. And, it is here in this daily life that the watchingness is crystalized into Being conscious. And that truly is a splendor.
Once, I asked Chadwick, “Are you realized?” I have put this question to all of the old devotees like Muruganar, Cohen, Osborne, Sadhu Natanananda, Devaraja Mudaliar and others. None of them either said yes or no – all smiled. When I asked him whether he was realized, he did not say yes or no. Instead, he told me, “I will tell you what happened. After many years of my stay with Bhagavan – four or five years, I committed the mistake of trying to evaluate how much I have progressed spiritually. This is a thing any seeker should not do. I felt that I have not progressed. Many who saw me in Ramanasramam, looked at me like I was a sage or a saint saying, “Oh! He is so fortunate. He is so close to Bhagavan. He meditates so much. He is already in that state.” This created a contradiction in me as I personally felt that I was not progressing spiritually. However, having left the material life I could not go back to a worldly life either. I felt caught between the devil and the deep sea. I was sorrow stricken. I ran to Bhagavan’s hall. He was alone. I told him, “Bhagavan, this is my plight. I am neither here nor there and this causes much sorrow in me.” Bhagavan looked at me compassionately and said, “Chadwick, who says all this?” Immediately, there was a current like shock in my body and I literally ran to my room, shut the doors and went into a neutral state. I was not bothered whether I was spiritually maturing or whether I would be able to stay in the world. I was in a neutral state of silence. A few days passed like that wherein I was neither happy nor worried.” The only luxury that Chadwick allowed himself was taking his bath in a bath tub which he had in the verandah of his cottage. One day, shortly after the above incident, something happened unexpectedly. As Chadwick told me later, “I was taking my bath and very honestly Ganesan, I was not in a spiritual state or in a prayerful mood when it suddenly dawned – the ‘I AM’!” He experienced it – not just as words. He was so ecstatic that he did not even dry himself. He just wrapped a towel around his waist and ran to the Old Hall from where a few days back he had run away. Fortunately, this time too, Bhagavan was alone. In this spiritual ecstasy of experiencing the ‘I AM’, where there was no Chadwick, just the ‘I AM’, he asked Bhagavan, “Bhagavan, is THIS it?” Chadwick recounted, “Bhagavan gave me the most glorious smile, and then confirmed, “Yes, Chadwick, THIS is THAT!” I then asked him, “Bhagavan, is it so simple?” Bhagavan replied, “Yes it is that simple.” Since then, I’ve never had any doubt.”