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I have always acknowledged copyright and added links to the Pune Osho library site as well as links to purchase the books and hoped that would be enough. Apparently not. We will see how the blog transforms itself in the future. love.
My first Zen stick happened when I was around three years old. It is one of the earliest memories I have. Of course I had never heard the term and it would be another twenty-three years or so until I would.
I was sleeping in my bed in a room with no one else present and suddenly, how could it be otherwise, I felt a whack on the top part of the back of my head. I sat up and looked around the room but there wasn’t anyone there.
Twenty-three years later I met a ferocious Zen master who carried a Zen stick made out of her words. Her name was Deeksha. Deeksha was the boss, the mom, the coordinator of the Vrindavan kitchen in the ashram.
Sumati and I had arrived from Japan with our pockets full of money saved from working and wanted to make a contribution to the ashram. Sheela gladly accepted but suggested that we save some for our own expenses and then assigned both of us to work in Vrindavan. Deeksha was not only in charge of the public ashram restaurant but also had her own band of handymen for whatever projects that came up. It was almost as though she had her own empire within the ashram; this certainly was no secret from Osho. Sumati went into the kitchen and I became a handyman.
Deeksha was known for her passion, energy and insults as well as being extremely capable of organizing work. She was also one of the most generous people in the ashram, often using her personal money to come to the aid of her friends and workers. But no one wanted to be called on the carpet by Deeksha. One day you could be leading a crew of carpenters working on building bookshelves for Osho’s library and the next day you could be banished to the bakery that was offsite and away from the ashram.
On one particular day during the lecture, a deep meditation had descended. It was one of those discourses that Osho would take you by the hand and lead you ever deeper into your interiority. With this sense of being came a peace that knew no fear. I lingered longer than usual after the discourse bathing in the majesty.
When I left Buddha Hall, someone had been summoned to find Purushottama and bring him to Deeksha. I knew what awaited me but there was a calm easy feeling that accompanied my walk. I remember that she was standing with her back to the kitchen wall and she let fly all of her quivers. She was extremely animated and I have no idea what she said, but what I remember was that it was as if love was pouring from her in what would look like to an onlooker as anger. The energy that issued forth just washed over and through and yet didn’t touch me. I was a witness to a raging Zen master but inside was the same peace that I had left Buddha Hall with. From that moment I knew it was possible to be in the marketplace but not of the marketplace. I remained untouched.
Years after we had left Poona and even after the Ranch had closed I would think about Deeksha and feel some regret that she had not had a Deeksha like I had. Deeksha offered me an opportunity that no one else in the ashram could. It was easy to see why Osho gave her so much freedom and so much responsibility. In his Buddhafield even the wildest, fiercest expressions were love.
Tim Kaine went to Rockhurst High School, a Jesuit run school in Kansas City, Missouri. This is the same high school that my mother wished that I had attended. However, I managed to score one of the lowest recorded scores on the entrance exam thereby thwarting my mother’s plan.
He went on to work with the Jesuits in Honduras. I went on to meditate with Osho in India. He went on to work his way through politics culminating in the Democratic Nominee for Vice-President of the United States. I went on to discovering that I am not the body, not the mind and not my feelings culminating in discovering the Witnessing Consciousness.
It seems that the lesson here is if you want to be ‘somebody’ you should listen to your mother but if you want to be ‘no-body’ then you should listen to your inner voice.
Since the day of my enlightenment in 1979, my way of sharing with spiritual seekers has changed many times. I have been learning from Osho, but also from you, watching what happens to you day by day.
In the first part of these 35 years I have been sharing all my energy with the seekers who were coming to me, helping them to achieve quickly a spiritual experience, a satori or a stage of enlightenment. But I learned that it is not the best way to help you. Why? The first problem is that sometimes, if you have a Satori before the purification of your unconsciousness in meditation is deep enough, you may get scared. And if you are scared, it will take time for you to have the same experience again. It is better to grow slowly but safely, step by step.
For me it happened in a different way. I had many satoris every day and I was scared, but I was completely fed up of living my life as unenlightened, my lust for life was almost exhausted. And Osho was calling me inside….
One day, with my total will power I faced the fear, and crossed the point of no return.
But for most of the seekers, it is better to go slowly into new experiences.
Hence now I am working through continuity in meditation, making sure that you develop a good understanding before high experiences happen to you. In daily meditation you are facing the fear of disappearing little by little, and slowly, slowly you are learning how to overcome it. It needs patience, you will have to go through ALL your unconscious mind with awareness. But this path is very safe, if you are ready to work honestly you will all have good results. .
And one day, you will be ready to face the point of no return, and you will cross the border that separates from eternal bliss….
The second main reason why my working with people changed in the course of the years, is that many seekers attained with me some early stage of enlightenment, but they wanted immediately to be Masters, and their spiritual growth stopped.
It is necessary to understand the great mystery of enlightenment. Enlightenment comes in three stages. Self realisation, Being realisation and Non-being realisation, also called Nirvana.
We can be Masters only in the last stage, not before. Only in the last stage we attain to the understanding of the Great Mysteries of Existence.
In the first two stages we can share our energies with other seekers, that is helpful to them, but we should not give them advice and guidelines because we don’t understand deeply what is happening to them yet.
The person who has attained to the first two stages of enlightenment will simply feel that what has happened to him will happen to everybody, more or less in the same way and with the same techniques.
But this is totally false, because every human being is unique and in his unique stage, so his spiritual path is also unique. These complex and subtle differences are comprehended only in Nirvana, the space where the Great Mysteries are attained.
So what is the right attitude to have when you meet the seekers in the two stages of enlightenment? You can meditate with them, their spiritual presence is helpful.
But don’t listen to them, their understanding of your inner world is still very limited.
And remember, they can be very supporting to your meditation but you cannot disappear with them, because they are not yet disappeared themselves. Disappearing happens in Nirvana.
But what happened, many seekers attained with me the first two stages of enlightenment, and they started working with other seekers as they were already Masters. That’s not true, the Master appear only after Nirvana.
Their mistake is natural, after many lives of suffering and darkness, suddenly now they feel blissful, and vast as they are an infinite consciousness …. It is a natural mistake, it happens to everybody in the beginning.
At this point, only if you feel deep gratitude to your Master, if you remain trusting and surrendering to him you will proceed to the final and complete enlightenment.
That is what happened to me. I remained even more trusting and surrendering to Osho than before, my gratitude became immense! In this way Osho could guide me all the way to the final stage.
I wrote a letter to Osho, saying:
“I am nothing, you are nothing , and nothing is nothing ! What is happening now ?”
Osho answered: “Remain open and available, and many more mysteries will be shown unto you…”
And that’s what happened. Even now after 35 years I am still understanding more and more mysteries every day. But I am watching the seekers that have attained with me to some stage of superconsciousness, they are not experiencing trust and openness.
The reason is that their unconscious was not fully clean when their enlightenment happened, there was still some ego, to somebody greed, or lust, desire for recognition and other sicknesses. Traces of these unconscious forces are still there and influence them.
That’s why in the last years I have changed my way of working. Now my priority is to completely clean your unconscious mind before anything can happen. In long meditation camps, I spend most of my time with you sitting in silence. You will have to be very patient and trusting, I will guide you through a complete purification.
I have a commitment with you: before I dissolve in Existence, I will lead you to a very safe place inside yourself.