I constantly think of other people. Is this also considered going out of myself, running away from myself? What to do?
Basically, you don’t think. But somewhere, without your cooperation, it cannot happen. The senses do the contacting; if there are no senses, you cannot contact others, you cannot relate. For relating, for contacting, senses are needed. But then the problem starts… that what we know, what we experience, what we perceive through the senses, goes on piling up inside.
When you close your eyes, that which was outside, is now inside. As if there is a film that goes on projecting, as if many films… many-many movies go on projecting. Sometimes part of this movie, sometimes part of that movie – they go on projecting… and you think that you are thinking.
But you are not thinking, you are just watching… just witnessing. This is a spontaneous, or call it automatic, process.
Actually, you don’t think.
When you are watching all these thoughts, you are focused on the “other,” you are focused “outside.” Even though you are watching inside, the focus is still “outside.” The distance may be small or big – it does not matter. When you are watching, when you are seeing something, you are there. And when you are there, you are not your-Self – that is for sure. When you are your-Self, you are not seeing this or that – “you are seeing you”… or, better to say, “you are feeling you”… or even more accurately “you are being you.” You are… that’s all. And when you are, you are not moving out of your- Self. So just be as you are… just be.
This process fluctuates very fast… again and again; from here to there the attention jumps. Psychologically, mentally, the whole energy goes there again and again, again and again… so what to do? The question is, what to do?
Come back. This is the only answer. Remain passive. Just remember this word “passivity.” It will do wonders.
So the first thing to remember is: Be passive.
And the second thing is: When you see that you are going out of your-Self …Gurudev clicks his fingers… come back inside of your-Self. Actually, there is no inside of your-Self – there you just are. There is no “in” or “out.” When you move, you have gone out. Whenever there is a thought, it is always out, it is never in.
Thought is needed to know things, to recognize objects, to understand the world outside. Nothing is needed to know your-Self. It is direct – you are. You can know directly because your very being has the quality of knowing. Knowing and being are one; they are not two. Just be… and knowing is there. Knowing of what? …Knowing of nothing, knowing of just being. And you have to do nothing! Just BE.
“…Is this also considered going outside of myself, running away from myself?
You are not running away, thoughts take you away. You are not going anywhere – you are just forgetting your-Self, that’s all. Your thoughts are like little children, beautiful babies that appear and hold your hand and say: “Look at me, Mama, look at me”… and you are gone! Thoughts are like your children – and you really love them! All kinds of thoughts… whatsoever… you love them. And that is why you go with them, again and again.
So this is a great opportunity… especially now that we are in silence… to practice. And what is the practice? …Remain passive… and remember your-Self… remember that you are. Come back, come back – again and again.
When there is a thought, your attention is there… on the thought. When there is no-thought, your attention is no-where… it just is. It is nothing but you – pure “you.” When attention is not moving at all, what remains is “you.” Call it your existence, your true nature, your soul… whatever you like. And sooner or later, you will discover that it is, that’s all. It is.
And in this “is-ness” is the real joy of being. It is complete, full, whole. Now you lack nothing: You are just happy, just peaceful.
“…What to do?”
Come back, Priya! Come back again and again, but remain passive and remember that you are… that “I am.” 30.12.02, 4.15 pm, Goa, India.
- Gurudev (Chaitanya Bharti)
From …and nothing has ever happened, Chapter Eight
You can find Chaitanya Bharti’s site here.