Is it possible that instead of watching the thinking, I am thinking of watching?
Yogananda, it is not only possible, it is absolutely certain that instead of watching the thinking you are thinking of watching. But if you have become aware of it, the change is possible. If you can think of watching, why can’t you watch thinking? Just try. It is not a difficult process, it is simple.
But most people do that. They are thinking of watching and are deceived by themselves and start feeling that great things are happening: The watcher has come in and soon all these thoughts will disappear and the no-mind is not very far away.
When people say to me that meditation is going very well, I am a little suspicious. If the meditation is going very well, you don’t have to say it to me; I can see it. It will change your eyes, it will change your posture, it will change your walk, it will change your speaking, it will make you more and more silent – a pool of peace without any ripples of thoughts.
But human mind is very cunning; it tries to the very end to deceive you. And you are very naive, you go on being deceived.
Sadie Moskovitz took her old grandmother to the movies. It was an epic about the Roman Empire. In one scene a lot of unarmed prisoners were thrown to the lions. The old grandmother broke out into loud wails, crying out, “Ah, those poor people.”
Sadie was very embarrassed and whispered fiercely, “Don’t scream like that, Grandma. Those are Christians.
Choked, Grandma said, “I see.” She was quiet at once, but then began wailing louder than before.
“Grandma,” demanded Sadie, “what is it now?”
“Over there,” said Grandma, pointing, “that poor little lion at the back. He’s not getting any Christian.”
Beware of your mind more than anything else in the world. It is the greatest deceiving device which has been created by your body, physiology, chemistry, biology. It keeps you tethered to the body and does not allow you to open your eyes to your consciousness. It keeps you engaged; it does not give you even a little holiday. The danger is that if you are given a little holiday you may become aware of your inner grandeur, the beauty of your being and the enormous truth and the glory of it. And once you have seen that splendor, you are not going to be deceived anymore.
Yogananda, now change it. Instead of thinking of watching, start watching the thinking. Even if the thinking is about watching, watch. It does not matter what is the object of thinking – it can be watching – don’t get at all disturbed. You go on watching even thinking about watching and the watching that you will be doing will reveal secrets and the mystery of your being. And as they are revealed, mind disappears.
Mind is only there while you are utterly unconscious and ignorant. When more light is brought by meditation, watching, mind disappears like darkness. It is not a strong enemy; it is just that you have never tried to go beyond it.
Watching is simply a process of going beyond the mind, far away, looking at the mind, watching what is going on. Whatever the mind is doing you simply see it; don’t appreciate, don’t condemn, don’t judge, because all these things are part of thinking.
Watching knows no judgment, no condemnation, no justification, no appreciation. Watching is simply like a mirror; standing before the mirror you may have a beautiful face but the mirror does not smile at you. You may have an ugly face but the mirror does not feel disgusted. You may have no face at all; the mirror is unconcerned.
Watching is simply exactly like a mirror reflecting the mind. Whatever is going on, the mirror reflects but makes no comments. This is the secret to getting beyond the mind, farther and farther away from it. Soon you will see that your mind is just a faraway echo – you can’t even figure it out what it is muttering – and then it disappears.
The attachment with the mind is through your condemnation or appreciation. Even when the mind disappears, don’t say to yourself, “Aha, this is it.” Then the mind has come back from the secret door that it knows.
Just remain silent.
There is no need to say “Aha!”
There is no need to say “This is it!”
Relish and enjoy the silence that has come around you. Where mind was just a marketplace, you have entered into the silences of the heart.
Enjoy, dance, but don’t say a single word.
From Satyam Shivam Sundaram, Chapter 27
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