This offering has been pondered over, allowed to slosh around in my mind, in my interiority, and even spilled over onto a white page to be fiddled with, adjusted, and examined for tone. (Light but not pedantic!) No fight picking here, simple exploration, seeking understanding, and then deeper understanding.
When I sit of a morning, Japanese style since my knees protest the least in such a pose, fragments of thought cruise, gallop, creep seemingly through my skull! Little strips of data from last night’s TV viewing, an old memory of something that jars and gnaws and has to be forgiven and laid to rest (again and again), self-reminders to watch my breath, closely followed by some genuine breath watching, until off I go again climbing onto that endlessly spinning merry-go-round.
At a certain point, my legs suggest we have all been sitting for quite long enough. Now my legs respond very gracefully to a little wiggle, a little twitch, and we all settle down again. But then, the mind with some considerable force declares, “Let’s stand up.” At that point, I have to be really alert and not automatically follow its dictates! For, I have recently read Osho saying that we always stop “meditating” before something happens. So, I ignore my mind. Rude of course, but when someone doesn’t have your best interests at heart, is one obliged to listen carefully to their point of view and respond as your upbringing dictates?! Sorry mind. If I engage with you, I am lost, and so I turn away!
So then, I settle and yummy is the best word to describe it.