The Invisible Man

When I was a kid, I used to love the movie The Invisible Man. I must have seen it five or six times, probably even more. I mean the one filmed in black and white, most probably the one from 1933 with Claude Rains.

Not too long ago, I stumbled upon the most amazing discovery. I don’t think I have ever heard or read anyone speaking about this fact. In meditation, I discovered that my body cannot see me, neither my foot nor my hand, not my torso nor even my head. I can see them. I can perceive my body with my eyes closed, but it cannot see me.

I can also see my mind working. I can see thoughts. When I say see I mean perceive. I can see thoughts, but as far as I can tell, they can’t see me. If they can, they must be using some other media because I am tied up looking at them. I can even see my feelings. Emotions show up and I can see them, but I remain unseen by them.

Of course, this makes me want to look a little further, and when I do, I see that it is the same when I perceive what I had considered to be anyone else. When I look at their body, or see their ideas, or even sometimes catch a glimpse of some emotion passing over them, I realize that these things cannot see me. I remain in the background.

It isn’t much of a leap to realize that when I look at my wife Amido I am seeing all of those things, but they are not seeing me either. And it is clear that they also do not see her. So, I too cannot see Amido, and she cannot see me. It’s pretty hard to objectify someone if you can’t even see them.
Wow, I am the invisible man and it seems that you, most likely, are too. But don’t take my word for it. Have a look for yourself.

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

Being Aware

While vacuuming the meditation room one day, it occurred to me that I can only Be Awareness by Being Aware. At that moment, my head banged into the doorjamb.

One can only Be Awareness by Being Aware. This means that if we are not being aware, if we are in thought, effectively, we are not being awareness. So, to say that one is always aware is simply conceptual. Mostly, we are unaware.

Rather than seeing awareness as an object and using mind as the subject, we should be seeing mind as an object which can only happen from the space of Awareness as the Ultimate Subject.

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

 

Here in This Watching

For those of us who are interested in discovering our real nature, our original face, our one true being, it is indispensable to see the distinction between thinking and watching the mind. We must see the difference between being lost in thought and witnessing the mechanism of the mind. We can see that when we are in thinking, we are not “present,” but when we watch the mind, without getting involved in the particulars of thought, we can feel our very own beingness. The more we recognize this distinction, the more we are drawn back away from thinking and into witnessing.

We do not sit and watch the mind in order to accomplish something but because we recognize that “here” in this watching we are nearer to our self than when we are out chasing dreams. Of course, we continue to forget and find ourselves time and time again lost in space, but each time we return to witnessing, we are breaking the patterns of conditioning, and are becoming more and more familiar with our beingness.

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

 

Inspection Required

From where come you
My thoughts
You’re not, you are
Again you’re not

You lead me to your sons and daughters
I have known your ancestors
But on careful inspection
You disappear into silence

Come back and make a stand
But no you fold
Like a nomad’s tent
A shadow hiding

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

 

Yes and Let Go

Meditation is a journey of Yes and Let Go.

We say yes to the body and let go of pain and pleasure.

We say yes to the mind and let go of unhappiness and happiness.

We say yes to the heart and let go of sorrow and joy.

And by letting go of the contents of body, mind and heart we find ourselves in Being.

Being is Bliss. Bliss is uncaused. Being is Love, Love which is unaddressed, Love without an object.

Love is Being.

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

One Step Back

When I was a kid visiting my grandparents in the summer, I used to sit out on the porch and watch the constant flow of cars passing. Sometimes, I would check out the license plates to see which state they were from. When you focus on each car as it passes, you catch the car in your attention, and follow it until you turn your head to catch the next. But if you have no particular interest in where the cars are from, you can just stay stationary, and watch the flow as a whole. In this way you are not moving the head to follow each individually. It is the same with watching our thoughts. If we have some interest in the individual thoughts, we follow them for a while, and then snap back to catch the next. But if we are not involved with each passing thought, we can witness the movement of the mind as a whole. This way of watching is just one step back.

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

 

Helping In

Many of us for whatever reason have some kind of inborn desire to help others, to make the world a better place. It seems pretty clear that what we have now in our world is a result of the efforts of “mind.” We see that “mind” can never be truly creative, can never be truly new. It is always coming from the past. All thinking is based on the past and so can never create anything that is not based on the past. It cannot create anything that is a jump into the vertical. It is always linear, horizontal.

We can see that if we truly want to “make the world a better place,” then we have to help others discover life “beyond mind,” outside of the prison of the past. And it follows that the only way we can help others discover life beyond mind is to make that discovery for ourselves. It is not enough to talk about it; but we have to be transformed by it. We have to allow it to absorb every vestige of the “me” in order to make room for life in now, in creativity, and in real love.

The next question is surely how to proceed? How do we come out of the prison of the mind? How do we make that discovery of life “beyond mind”? How do we live in “now”? There may be many answers to these questions. But I can only speak from my own experience of one, and that is meditation. And by meditation, I mean simply turning our attention onto the activity of the mind. Seeing the workings of the mind without interfering, without judging, without jumping into the duality of the mind, without getting involved in the yes-no. And it is this watching, this witnessing of the mind in its totality that liberates us from its clutches.

And the irony is that often what is keeping us from allowing that transformation in ourselves is our engaging in the activities of trying to make the world a better place. Our time may be consumed in social causes. We may be active in political movements. We may be trying to heal others. But all the while, we are ignoring the one glaring fact that we have not allowed our own transformation. We have been propping up the “me” through all this activity and so are still living through the mind.

So let those of us who have been blessed or cursed with the disease of wanting to make the world a better place get down to the real work that will pay those dividends. Let us move “in” with a great earnestness, with a tremendous longing. And perhaps, we can actualize, we can realize that which we have been seeking: an Earth populated by beings in touch with existence; an Earth which is populated with whole, sensitive, creative beings who are not acting out of conditioning but out of the intelligence of the whole.

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

 

From Becoming to Being

One of the most important milestones along the way back to our own true self is not just to have an intellectual understanding of, but to actually see, feel, experience the difference between becoming and being.

Being is always here and now.

Becoming is always somewhere else, in another time.

And the way to discover Being is by watching becoming. Being is the vantage point from which one witnesses becoming.

-purushottama

Here Osho speaks more fully on becoming and Being.

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

 

In Meditation

We sense the body not to become more relaxed, though that is a by-product. We sense the body to become aware of the one who knows the sensing.

We follow the breath not to come into stillness although that too is a by-product. No, we follow the breath to come to know the one to which everything appears.

And we witness the mind, the thoughts, not to become more silent but to come to be silence itself.

We witness all that we are not, and thus, be knowingly that which we are. We sense the body, follow the breath, and witness the mind to become aware of our own true nature not as an object to be seen but as the ultimate subjectivity.

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

 

Awakening before Enlightenment

We hear the term ‘awakening’ thrown about today like a rag doll. And as is the case with almost all spiritual terminology, there seem to be levels and levels of meaning for the word ‘awakening.’ It is important to first recognize that we are not necessarily using a common language. When I see what the word ‘awakening’ is being used to point at, from the plethora of spiritual teachers that exists today, it is evident that it is being used to denote many different things.

And it is not just the spiritual teachers who use ‘awakening’ with different meanings; you can find references from the Enlightened Masters as well. There are times in the many books of Osho where he refers to ‘awakening’ as the final enlightenment, and sometimes he is pointing to a step that precedes enlightenment. I find the same situation in the works of J. Krishnamurti, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Ramana Maharshi, and Meher Baba. Although if one looks carefully at the context in which the words are being used, it is not as confusing as it seems.

However, in writing this I am not interested in repeating the words of those remarkable Enlightened Ones, but rather this understanding that I wish to share is one that has been taking shape over the last twenty years and has only now become sufficiently stabilized that I feel willing to express openly.

Before we even begin to look at the different meanings we might ascribe to ‘awakening,’ let us first acknowledge that all individuals are moving through their awakening at a different pace. It is clear that we did not all begin at the same point. This is illustrated when we see that a sage like Ramana Maharshi realizes his enlightenment at the age of sixteen seemingly without effort. In contrast is the experience of Nisargadatta Maharaj in whom enlightenment happened much later in life. Some were prepared from their very childhood for such an event, and some worked through their own efforts at removing the obstacles to the ‘natural state.’ Some of us have lived a life centered in meditation from a young age, and some of us stumbled upon it much later in life perhaps after some major crisis turned our world upside down. So it is important to understand that just because we have not had a certain understanding does not mean that one of our fellow travelers has not. It is equally important to note that if we have experienced some insight or transformation, it is not likely that many will understand what we are talking about.

So let us begin with what each of us (at least anyone who is reading this) has probably experienced. For some of us it might have come like a bolt of lightning, for others it may have always been intuited as truth. And that is that life, the world, is appreciably different from what we were conditioned to believe. Many may describe this realization as an awakening and indeed it is. This awakening would mark the beginning of the journey. It would denote a tremendously important change of direction and priorities in one’s life.

Having changed direction in life, we embark on searching out information, knowledge, understanding, and perhaps a teacher to help guide us along the way. We may be fortunate and come across that guide early on or for some it may take many years. And some may not find the guide in whom trust is a natural and spontaneous flowering and so may just wander from teacher to teacher. Regardless, even without a guide, and certainly with one, it is possible, after an introduction to meditation, after reading the words of those who have known the greatest mystery, after the necessary inner work, to come to an “intellectual understanding” of the lay of the spiritual land. Jean Klein refers to it as a “geometric understanding.” One can almost visualize the obstacles that lie before. This understanding often can come as a flash and could certainly be described as an ‘awakening.’ But here, it is important to note that this intellectual understanding is not the same as being understanding, is not the same as knowingness; it is more like knowledge.

Next, we come to what seems to me to be more worthy of such a moniker as ‘awakening.’ This is when one realizes oneself to be out of the mind’s conditioning. The “goose is out.” Here one is being out of the mind and is able to see the mind clearly as an object of perception. It is not that the mind has disappeared, no, but one is not living within the mind. And it is here that witnessing really emerges. In fact, this is the witness. The mind is still present but one is not captive to its many grips. But it is important at this stage to allow witnessing its full force through meditation. It is here that the “emptying of consciousness” must take place. If one is not mindful, it is extremely easy to slip back into the clutches of the mind. But one is also able to see the horizon. One knows what needs to happen. One cannot make ‘it’ happen, but one does need to create the opportunity. With this awakening the taste is known and so it is natural that real earnestness arises.

For what follows, we will have to take the words and expressions of those who have known as a hypothesis. We accept the hypothesis and in our laboratory of meditation discover for ourselves if it is indeed true. The Enlightened Masters have all said that there does come a complete annihilation of the separate ego-mind, one that is irreversible, and surely it is ‘this’ that deserves the name “Enlightenment.”

So here we come to the point that has been the fuel for this inquiry all these years. Without exposure to the presence of an Enlightened Master, and unfortunately for some even with, it is very easy to believe that the “awakening of the witness” is the end of the journey, is itself enlightenment. Some fellow travelers might very well believe that there is no ending of the mind because that is the limitation of their own experience. They become teachers and this then becomes part of their teaching, thus misdirecting their students. Just as importantly their unfolding stagnates, believing that they have reached the end thus not allowing the space for the “emptying of consciousness” to take place. This is where the exposure to a fully enlightened master should prove extremely helpful. The master does not allow us to make our house in the sand. He continually goads us to keep on to the very end. May we all continue to the very end, Charaiveti, charaiveti (go on, go on to the very end).

-purushottama

This is from the collection of stories, essays, poems and insights that is compiled to form the book From Lemurs to Lamas: Confessions of a Bodhisattva. Order the book Here.

Here is a follow up post After Awakening Before Enlightenment.

See a related post The Seeing I.

 

For more on this topic, you may wish to explore:

The Awakening of the Double-Pointed Arrow

Meditation Involves all Three

And below I am including some links to a few postings that illustrate, much more deeply, what is being said.

A Geometrical Understanding-Jean Klein

Minor Explosions-Osho

The Stages of the Path-Meher Baba

Spiritual Snakes and Ladders-Osho

Attainment-Ramana Maharshi

The Emptying of Consciousness-J. Krishnamurti

Flowering, Awakening, Self-Realization and Enlightenment-Osho

Charaiveti, Charaiveti-Osho