Podcast Episode: I Have a Confession to Make

An imaginary podcast discussing a real post

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I Have a Confession to Make Podcast

Following is an A.I. generated conversation discussing Purushottama’s post: I Have a Confession to Make.

Pip: Sat Sangha Salon — where the questions are old, the silence is the point, and occasionally someone admits they spent two decades convincing themselves they were already doing the thing.

Mara: Today’s episode follows a single thread from Purushottama: a personal confession about meditation, and what actually changed. Let’s start with the confession itself.

I Have a Confession to Make

Pip: The post opens on Osho’s birthday — December 11th — and uses the occasion to admit something that takes real honesty to say out loud: that despite being steeped in a tradition centered on meditation, the practice wasn’t actually there for a long time.

Mara: The setup makes that concrete. The post reads: “I did not regularly sit in meditation until 20 years after he left the body.”

Pip: Twenty years. And the reason that matters is that the post doesn’t frame it as failure — it frames it as self-deception, which is a sharper diagnosis. Telling yourself you’re meditating all the time is a very convincing story to live inside.

Mara: Right, and the post gets specific about why that story doesn’t hold. It leans on Osho’s three-step Vipassana structure: watching the body first, then the activities of the mind, then the activities of the heart. The argument is that watching the body in daily life — eating, walking, breathing — is only step one.

Pip: So “I’m meditating while I do the dishes” covers maybe a third of the map, and you can spend decades parked there feeling accomplished.

Mara: That’s essentially it. The post says, “the only way I can really watch my mind is by sitting silently and looking directly at the movement of thought.” And the quality of that watching matters — without grasping, without rejecting, without analyzing, without judgment.

Pip: Four withouts. That’s a surprisingly rigorous description of doing nothing.

Mara: And it leads somewhere. For the past fourteen years, an hour a day, nearly without exception. The post describes the shift from practice to something else entirely — “just a joy to be in those moments when occasionally everything comes to a stop.”

Mara: The closing line distills the whole piece: “meditate, meditate, meditate, just for the sheer joy of it.”

Pip: Confession, diagnosis, correction, and then that. It’s a tidy arc for something that took thirty-four years to complete.

Pip: Self-deception about inner work — that’s the thread worth sitting with.

Mara: Next time, more from Sat Sangha Salon. The silence will keep.

Here you can listen to the podcast on Youtube.

Here is the original post from Purushottama, I Have a Confession to Make.

Make the Light Move in a Circle – Osho

A great master was asked, what is the Buddha? “Mind is the Buddha,” he answered. When after many years he was asked the same question again by the same disciple, he said, “No Buddha, no mind.”

“Then why did you say before, ‘Mind is the Buddha’?”

“To stop the baby crying! Once the baby stops crying, I say, ‘No mind, no Buddha!’”

Philosophy is just a toy, a toy to stop the baby crying, and so is theology.

Religion really consists of experience, experimentation; it has nothing to do with speculation. In its essential nature it is the science of the inner; it is as scientific as any other science. The difference between religion and science is not of their methodology but only of their object. Science looks at the objective world where our energy is flowing, where our light is flowing. Religion searches into the subjective where our light is not flowing but can be turned to flow. Hence science is easier than religion. Never for a single moment think that religion is simpler than science. It is a higher science, how can it be simpler than science? It is a superior science.

First the light has to flow inward, then it falls on your being, and then your being is revealed and you can enter into your being. And to enter into one’s own being is to enter into the kingdom of God. There, you are not and God is: you exist only in the shadow. When the light flows outward you exist – but only in the shadow. You exist because you remain unaware of your real self. Your real self is the supreme self. Your real self is a “Self” with a capital S. It has nothing to do with you, it is the self of all. But for that, a great transformation has to take place.

Nature has prepared you for the outward flow. Nature’s function is finished. With man, nature has reached to its climax, now nothing else is going to happen naturally unless man makes a decision to go further than nature. Nature has brought you to the point where you are capable of standing on your own. Man is no longer a child, man has become adult. Now nature will no longer parent you; there is no need.

Natural evolution has stopped at man. This is a fact. Even scientists are becoming more and more aware of it: that for thousands of years nothing has happened to man, man has remained the same – as if nature’s work is done. Now man has to take the course of further growth into his own hands.

That’s what religion is.

Religion means: man starts standing on his own feet, becomes responsible for his own being, starts looking and searching and inquiring into what is the case – Who am I? And this should not only be curiosity.

Philosophy is out of curiosity. Religion is a very sincere, authentic search; it is inquiry. And there is a great difference between curiosity and inquiry. Curiosity is childish, just a little itching in the head. You would like to scratch and then you feel satisfied. Philosophy is that scratching; religion is a life-and-death matter. In philosophy you never become involved, you remain aloof. You play with the toys, but it is not a question of life and death. You accumulate knowledge, but you never practice it. […]

Religion is not a question of knowing but of living up to it. Religion is life, and unless you live it, you will not know anything about what it is. And to live religion one has to drop all philosophizing and one has to start experimenting. One has to become a lab. The scientist’s lab is outside; the religious person’s lab is his own being – his own body, his own soul, his own mind. The scientist has to concentrate on the object on which he is experimenting, his work has to be done with open eyes.

The work of religion has to be done with closed eyes; one has to concentrate upon oneself.

And the complexity is great because in the world of religion the experimenter and the experimented upon are the same. Hence the complexity, hence the strangeness, hence the incomprehensibility, hence the illogicality. The knower and the known are the same in the world of religion. In the world of science the knower is separate, the known is separate; things are clear-cut, demarcated. But in religion everything merges, melts into everything else – even the knower cannot remain separate.

Religion does not give you knowledge separate from the knower, it does not give you experience separate from the knower but as the very essence of the knower.

To be a religious seeker one has to drop all philosophizing. One has to drop all a priori knowledge because all a priori knowledge is a hindrance; it stops your inquiry. Inquiry becomes dishonest – from the very beginning it becomes poisoned. How can you inquire if you have already concluded?

To be a Christian and to be religious is impossible, or to be a Hindu and to be religious is impossible.

How can you be religious if you are a Hindu? Being a Hindu means that you have already concluded, you have decided what truth is. Now what is the point of inquiry? What are you going to inquire into?

All that you will be doing is finding support, arguments, for what you have already concluded. And your conclusion may be wrong – nobody knows – because your conclusion is not yours, it has been handed to you by the society.

Society is very interested in giving you conclusions, society is not interested in giving you consciousness so that you can conclude on your own. Before you become conscious, before any inquiry starts, society stuffs you with all kinds of conclusions to stop the inquiry because the inquirer is dangerous to society. The non-inquirer is convenient; the non-inquirer is obedient. He simply takes the orders, the commands, and follows them. He is conformist, he is conventional.

Once you have stuffed somebody’s mind a bit with a belief, you have drugged him. Belief is a drug. He starts believing, he goes on believing. Slowly, slowly he starts thinking that his belief is his experience.

Belief is a system of hypnosis. You go on suggesting to the child, “You are a Hindu, you are a Hindu,” you take him to the temple, you lead him through religious, so-called religious, rituals, ceremonies, and by and by he becomes conditioned to the idea that he is a Hindu, that all that is Hindu is right and all that is non-Hindu is wrong.

And the same is being done in every kind of society. You have drugged the child. His very source of consciousness has been poisoned. And if you believe something, it starts appearing to be true. If you start believing something, you will find all kinds of supports for it, all kinds of arguments to help it. Your ego becomes involved. It is not only a question of truth, deep down it is the question, “Who is right, me or you? How can I be wrong – I have to be right.” So you choose all that supports you; and life is so complex, you can find all kinds of things in life – whatsoever you choose, whatsoever you decide. If you are a pessimist, you will find all kinds of arguments in life which support pessimism. If you are an optimist, there are all kinds of arguments available to you.

Life is dual, life is paradoxical, life is multi-dimensional. Hence so many kinds of philosophies, “isms,” theologies exist in the world. And every theology lives confined by its own conclusions and feels perfectly right.

It is only in this age that the believers are finding a little difficulty. And this is a great blessing because they have become aware of other believers too. Now the Hindu is not so complacent, he cannot be; he knows that there are Christians. And the Christian cannot go on believing that he has the sole copyright for truth because he knows that there is the Mohammedan, and there is the Taoist, and there is the Buddhist. And who knows? This age is very confused – it has never been so before.

But remember, this confusion is a great blessing; something is on the way, something tremendously important is going to happen. This chaos in the mind is the beginning of a new dawn. In the future people will not be Mohammedans and Hindus and Buddhists, people will be inquirers. Belief is disappearing and the darkness of belief is disappearing. Nobody in the future is going to believe.

People will inquire, and when they find, they will trust. Belief is borrowed; trust is one’s own experience.

What I am teaching you here is that kind of religion which is going to happen more and more in the future. I am bringing the future to you in the present. I am making you pure inquirers, with no belief system, ready to go into experimentation but with no conclusion, open and ready to accept the truth whatsoever it may be – but ready only to accept the truth. […]

So the first thing to understand with The Secret of the Golden Flower is: not to be philosophic, not to be drugged by society, not to believe and not to disbelieve either. Remember, whenever I say, “Don’t believe,” I am not saying that you should disbelieve – disbelief is another kind of belief, a negative kind – when I say, “Don’t believe,” I am saying both belief and disbelief have to be dropped. You have to be simply open, with no conclusion. You have to be simply aware of your ignorance, with no knowledge hiding your ignorance. You have to be innocent, innocently ignorant, you have to say, “I don’t know.”

All right approaches begin with this “I don’t know.” If you “know” anything already without knowing, if you are knowledgeable, then that very belief will hinder, that very belief will create experiences which are not true. And when you are drugged by a belief – and belief is like LSD or marijuana or hashish – when you are drugged by a belief, it creates its own projected world, it gives your imagination free play. […]

And that’s what happens when you take LSD or marijuana or other kinds of drugs. It creates a small fantasy world in you, very colorful – at least it looks colorful when you are lost in the drug. And when you are in the drug, all that you experience appears to be ultimate truth. […] It is not. It has nothing to do with truth.

Truth is available only to those who are completely undrugged – not only chemically, but religiously too – who are completely undrugged. Only they have the capacity to know the truth. […]

That is the vision of Tao: inquire, experiment, and wait for the conclusion to come on its own.

The sutras.

Master Lu-tsu said: When the light is made to move in a circle, all the energies of heaven and earth, of the light and the dark, are crystalized.

Your consciousness is flowing outward – this is a fact; there is nothing to believe in it. When you look at an object, your consciousness flows toward the object. For example, you are looking at me. Then you forget yourself, you become focused on me. Then your energy flows toward me, then your eyes are arrowed toward me. This is extroversion. You see a flower and you are enchanted, and you become focused on the flower. You become oblivious of yourself; you are only attentive to the beauty of the flower.

This we know – every moment it is happening. A beautiful woman passes by and suddenly your energy starts following her. We know this outward flow of light. This is only half of the story. But each time the light flows out, you fall into the background, you become oblivious of yourself.

The light has to flow back so that you are both the subject and the object at the same time, simultaneously, so that you see yourself. Then self-knowledge is released. Ordinarily, we live only in this half way – half-alive, half-dead, that’s the situation. And slowly, slowly light goes on flowing outward and never returns. You become more and more empty inside, hollow. You become a black hole.

This is exactly what happens on a greater scale in the universe. Physicists have now discovered black holes. Taoists discovered black holes long before, but they were not concerned about the black holes there in the faraway space, they were concerned about the black holes inside you. A black hole is a state when all your energy is spent, exhausted, and you have become empty and you have forgotten completely how to go on nourishing this source of energy. Scientists say that sooner or later this sun will become a black hole because continuous energy is being released but nothing is returning to it. It is an immense source of energy. For millions of years it has been giving light to the solar system. For millions of years trees have been growing, flowers flowering, man living, animals moving, birds flying because of the sun’s energy. But the sun is becoming spent. Slowly, slowly, one day it will collapse; there will be no more energy left. Suddenly all light will disappear, the last rays will disappear from it. Then it will be a black hole.

And that’s how many people live their life: they become black holes because of this constant extroversion. You see this, you see that, you are continuously seeing without ever returning the energy to the seer. In the day you see the world, in the night you see dreams, but you go on remaining constantly attached to objects. This is dissipating energy.

By the time a man is thirty he is almost finished; then he is a black hole. People die nearabout thirty, although they are buried nearabout seventy – that is another matter – but they die nearabout thirty.

And I see a grain of truth in the hippie idea: don’t believe a man above thirty. There is a grain of truth in it because it is very rare to find a man beyond thirty who is alive. People become black holes, spent, utterly exhausted. They go on dragging somehow; they live without being alive, as if just the momentum of the past helps them to remain alive.

It happens: if you love bicycling, you have to pedal the bicycle. But sometimes you can just stop pedaling and, out of the momentum created by the past pedaling, the bicycle goes on for a while without pedaling. And if it is a downward slope, it can go far. And after thirty or thirty-five it is a downward slope. Thirty-five is the peak; if seventy is the average age, then thirty-five is the peak. After thirty-five you are on a downward slope; you can go on rolling down without any energy.

The Taoist experience is that this energy that you spend in your extroversion can be more and more crystallized rather than spent if you learn the secret science of turning it backward. It is possible; that is the whole science of all methods of concentration.

Just standing before a mirror someday, try one small experiment. You are looking at the mirror, your own face in the mirror, your own eyes in the mirror. This is extroversion: you are looking into the mirrored face – your own face, of course, but it is an object outside you. Then, for a moment, reverse the whole process. Start feeling that you are being looked at by the reflection in the mirror – not that you are looking at the reflection but the reflection is looking at you – and you will be in a very strange space. Just try it for a few minutes and you will be very alive, and something of immense power will start entering you. You may even become frightened because you have never known it; you have never seen the complete circle of energy.

And although it is not mentioned in Taoist scriptures this seems to me the most simple experiment anybody can do, and very easily. Just standing before the mirror in your bathroom, first look into the reflection: you are looking and the reflection is the object. Then change the whole situation, reverse the process. Start feeling that you are the reflection and the reflection is looking at you. And immediately you will see a change happening, a great energy moving toward you. In the beginning it may be frightening because you have never done it and you have never known it; it will look crazy.

You may feel shaken, a trembling may arise in you, or you may feel disorientated because your whole orientation up to now has been extroversion. Introversion has to be learned slowly, slowly. But the circle is complete. And if you do it for a few days you will be surprised how much more alive you feel the whole day. Just a few minutes standing before the mirror and letting the energy come back to you so the circle is complete . . . And whenever the circle is complete there is a great silence.

The incomplete circle creates restlessness. When the circle is complete it creates rest, it makes you centered. And to be centered is to be powerful – the power is yours. And this is just an experiment; then you can try it in many ways.

Looking at the rose flower, first look at the rose flower for a few moments, a few minutes, and then start the reverse process: the rose flower is looking at you. And you will be surprised how much energy the rose flower can give to you. And the same can be done with trees and the stars and with people. And the best way is to do it with the woman or man you love. Just look into each other’s eyes. First begin looking at the other and then start feeling the other returning the energy to you; the gift is coming back. You will feel replenished, you will feel showered, bathed, basked in a new kind of energy. You will come out of it rejuvenated, vitalized.

Master Lu-tsu said: When the light is made to move in a circle . . .

This is what they mean by moving light in a circle. Your light is moving in an arc; it simply goes out and never comes back. You become a black hole sooner or later. If the circle is complete, you will become a white hole. Now, after black holes, physics is discovering white holes too. A white hole is very pregnant with energy just the opposite of the black hole.

When the light is made to move in a circle, all the energies of heaven and earth . . .

Heaven and Earth mean inner and outer, above and below, God and the world, the invisible and the visible, the unknowable and the knowable. Heaven represents God and the Earth represents the manifested world. They become one when the circle is complete. Then you are not only dust to dust; something of the sky has penetrated you. Then you are no longer just earthly, no more just a human being; you have become divine.

Remember the root of the word “human”: it comes from “humus,” humus means the earth. Man is made of the earth, that’s why man is called human. Man is dust; hence he is called human. When the dust starts becoming luminous with the divine, then you know the splendors of life. And that is possible if the energy comes back. And it can be brought back from everywhere; there is no problem in it, you just have to practice the secret. And once you have got the knack of it, you will find it everywhere.

Looking at a green tree, you can be so alive – as if the whole sap of the tree has flown toward you, the whole juice of the tree has gone into your being. Looking at the moon, and you will be surprised: there is no need to get drunk with any alcohol or any other drug, with the moon you can become a drunkard. The moon can return so much energy if you know how to take it back.

In India, in the ancient Rig Veda, there is talk of soma. Scientists think that soma is something like LSD. Scientists think it must have been a kind of mushroom that has disappeared from the Himalayas because of the change in the climate or something. Or maybe it has not disappeared, maybe people have just forgotten about it. It may be still growing somewhere in the deep valleys of the Himalayas and we have simply forgotten what it is. Maybe the ancient seers knowingly helped humanity to forget about it; it may have proved too dangerous.

Aldous Huxley says that soma was the ultimate drug, and in the future when we have discovered the ultimate LSD, we will again call it soma. But you will be surprised to know that in Sanskrit soma is another name for moon. Hence, Monday in Hindi is called somwar, the day of the moon. Soma is another name for the moon. It is not a mushroom, it is not some kind of LSD, it is not a drug, it is a secret science of getting in communion with the moon. And just as the ocean is affected by the moon, if you can get the energy back from the moon, you will be surprised: great juice, great nectar showers on you. You can be drunk without getting drunk on any drug.

The moon can affect you to the very core of your being. And it will make you cool and calm because the moon is the feminine energy. Just as when you embrace a woman that you love and suddenly you feel great calm and quietude arising in you, exactly the same happens on a greater scale when energy returns to you from the moon.

The moon is the feminine principle, just as the sun is the masculine principle. The moon is yin; the sun is yang. The moon can mother you. There is no need to go in search to the Himalayan valleys for some mushroom, that mushroom is always there in the sky; it is the moon. You have to learn the secret of how to get energy back from the moon.

There have been secret methods to get energy from the moon and from the sun too. Sun worship was born out of a certain technique; great temples of the sun arose. The sun temple of Konarak was just an expression of gratitude to the sun. It was not just worship; it was a science – how to get yang energy in you. It is particularly good for women to get sun energy in them so that their hidden, dormant yang becomes active, and it is good for men to get moon energy so that their dormant feminine principle becomes alive, moving again. It is good for a woman to be a sun worshipper and good for a man to be a moon worshipper.

But the worship has not to be just a ritual, it has to be this method.

When the light is made to move in a circle, all the energies of heaven and earth, of the light and the dark, are crystalized.

Light and dark symbolize man/woman, light/heavy, grace/gravitation, life/death, movement/rest. All these things are represented by light and dark.

In short, if the energy can move in a circle, slowly, slowly you will not know who you are – whether a man or a woman. Extroversion is the principle of yang, introversion is the principle of yin. Man is naturally extrovert, woman is naturally introvert. Even while making love, man keeps his eyes open – he wants to see, he is a voyeur. Hence the possibility of pornography. No woman is interested in pornography – no woman sees any point in it. Even while making love to her beloved, she closes her eyes. She is an introvert, her energy moves inwardly.

But the energy has to become a circle, otherwise one remains a man, one remains a woman. And both are half, two halves of the same whole. Hence the attraction and the need for the other. The day you are able to circulate your energy in a circle you will not need another woman, you will not need another man, because your own man, your own woman will meet and merge into each other. You will be whole; and to be whole is to be holy.

This is Tao and this is Tantra too: to be whole is to be holy.

When the light is made to move in a circle, all the energies of heaven and earth, of the light and the dark, are crystalized.

This is what Carl Gustav Jung called “individuation,” crystallization. This is what George Gurdjieff used to call “the birth of the self” or “the soul.”

Ordinarily you are just fragments, ordinarily you are a crowd; you have many selves. You don’t have a single “I,” you have many “Is,” small “Is”, and all struggling and competing with each other to dominate. This is the misery of man: that he is many. How can you be at ease if you are many? One part says, “Do this,” another part says, “No,” and a third part says, “Do something else.”

Whichever you follow you will repent because the other parts which were not willing to go will create trouble. They will go on insisting that you are on the wrong path, that the other alternative would have been far better. “If you had followed me, you would have arrived by now. And look, you didn’t listen to me.” But if you had listened to that part, then the other parts would have taken revenge.

Man is never contented, he cannot be, because he is many. If you become one, contentment follows of its own accord. If you are many, discontent is natural. If you are many, you live in constant conflict. If you are one, conflict disappears; you have come home.

This is what Taoists call crystallization. And the method to achieve it is to make the light move in a circle so your yin and yang are no longer separate.

The light has to move just exactly as your breathing moves: in and out, out and in, you exhale, you inhale. Just think of a person who only exhales: he will not be able to live, his body will die. Or think of the person who only inhales: he will also die. And that’s exactly what has happened to your soul.

Your soul is dead because either you exhale light or you inhale light; you have not yet learned that exhalation and inhalation have to become a circle, one process. Exhale deeply and inhale deeply.

Just as breath is necessary for the life of the body, consciousness is necessary for the soul. So consciousness should not be left as a half, the circle should be completed. The woman has to learn how to be a man too, and the man has to learn how to be a woman too. And when the man and woman have come to an equal balance, when they are utterly balanced, that is crystallization, individuation; the soul is born.

When one begins to apply this magic . . .

And, yes, it is magic because its effects are really unbelievable.

When one begins to apply this magic it is as if, in the middle of being, there were nonbeing.

This is what I meant by “black hole.”

When one begins to apply this magic it is as if, in the middle of being, there were nonbeing.

As if you are surrounded by being, but you are an island of non-being, of nothingness – a black hole. The trees are alive, the stars are alive, the birds are alive, the Earth is alive, the sun and the moon are alive, everything is alive, and you . . . just a dead black hole. In this vast ocean of being you are a non-being. This is the situation when you begin.

When in the course of time the work is completed, and beyond the body there is a body, it is as if, in the middle of nonbeing there were being.

Then everything changes; then you become a being, a white hole. You become so integrated, so crystallized, that compared to you, all the suns and the moons and the trees and the birds and the animals look like non-being.

Just think of a buddha: he has being – the whole existence feels pale compared to him. He has life – life eternal, life abundant. The whole existence is poor, he is rich. He is an emperor; the whole existence is beggarly.

When in the course of time the work is completed, and beyond the body there is a body . . .

When this circle of light becomes stabilized in you, crystallized in you, you will start feeling another body within the body. This body is made of dust, that body is made of God, of divinity. This body has form, that body has no form. This body is gross, that body is subtle. This body will have to die, that body knows no death. This body is part of time, that body is part of eternity.

When this second body is born – and it can be born only when you have learned how to inhale and exhale light . . . Just as you are inhaling and exhaling breath, when you have learned how to inhale and exhale light – the second body, the body of light . . . This is the body of darkness, this is the body which is part of the Earth, part of gravitation. It is heavy, it is pulled downward. The other body is pulled upward, it is part of grace, it is light – light in both senses of the word – it is illumined and it is weightless. You can fly.

That’s what Zen people call “flying without wings.” Then the whole sky and the infinity of it is available to you.

. . . as if, in the middle of nonbeing, there were being. Only after concentrated work of a hundred days will the light be genuine.

In the beginning the light will look almost like imagination – in the beginning it has to be imagination. Only after a time, a hundred days, the

. . . concentrated work of a hundred days . . .

It depends on how concentrated your work is; a hundred days is not a fixed line. If your work is totally concentrated, then a hundred days, otherwise it will take a hundred years or a hundred lives, one knows not. It depends on the intensity. If your being is totally involved in it, committed to it, you are bent upon it, you are ready to risk all for it, then in one hundred days the light will become genuine. In the beginning it will be imagination.

Imagination is not wrong; imagination is wrong only when it takes you against reality, when it becomes a barrier. Imagination is not wrong when it cooperates with reality, then it is a great blessing. In the beginning you will feel it as imaginary – just looking in the mirror, you will feel, “This is all imagination, that the reflection is looking at me.” It is imagination in the beginning, but soon you will realize that it was not imagination, you were just turning the key in the lock of reality. It starts happening.

In the beginning, if you touch a tree with great love – you know the tree cannot respond – and if you feel some response from the tree, you will think it is imagination. It is not; the tree responds, but it will take a little time for you to recognize the truth of it. When you are loving, the tree responds with love – love is always responded to with love. And if love is not responded to with love, then know well your love is not love, that’s all; then something else is masquerading as love.

. . . then only will it become spirit-fire.

After a hundred days’ concentrated effort it will become spirit-fire.

After a hundred days there develops by itself in the midst of the light a point of the true light-pole.

First it is a diffused light; you just feel it very slightly there. Sometimes it is there and sometimes it is not there; it is very dim and very fragile. But slowly, slowly it becomes very centered. It becomes a light-pole.

Then suddenly there develops the seed-pearl.

Then, just at the very center of the light-pole, the seed-pearl.

It is as if a man and woman embraced and a conception took place.

And it is exactly so: the inner man and the inner woman have embraced. It is a kind of inner intercourse – it is real Tantra. Your feminine part and your masculine part are making love to each other, are joined together. And then there is no need for them to separate.

With the outer woman you will have to separate, otherwise it will become very ugly. With the outer woman you will have to separate, otherwise it will become repulsive. With the outer man you will have to separate; it can only be momentary – only for a moment can you have the glimpse of unity – but with the inner there is no need to separate.

A buddha lives in a constant orgasmic state: the inner woman and the inner man go on making love. You must have seen the shivalinga in Hindu temples; that is a symbol. Just below that linga is the yoni, the feminine part; it is a symbol of the inner man and woman meeting. It is not just phallic as Freudians will interpret it, it is symbolic; it symbolizes the inner polarity.

And once this meeting has happened, you are born anew. When Jesus says to Nicodemus, “Unless you are born again . . .” this is what he means. I don’t know what Christians say and I don’t care either, but this is what he means. “Unless you are born again . . .” This is the birth he means. And this is what Hindus call dwija, twice-born: you have given birth to yourself. If the outer man meets with the outer woman you create a child, you reproduce. If the inner man meets the inner woman you again create a child, but you are the parent and you are the child. A new life begins in you, the life of a buddha, the life of enlightenment, the life of deathlessness.

Then one must be quite still and wait . . .

When this conception has been felt inside, when you feel that the inner man has penetrated the inner woman and the woman is pregnant, then nothing is left but to wait. Just as the woman waits for nine months with great joy, with great prayer, with great hope, you wait. Nothing else has to be done – no need to do anything – the doing part is finished.

The male part is action. To make light circulate is the male part. Once the conception has taken place and the inner woman is pregnant, then the male part need not work, it has to rest. Then things grow on their own.

Meditation is the first part, then there is only prayer left. Hence I say to you that without meditation you will never know what prayer is. Prayer is the highest form of meditation. Prayer is like fragrance, meditation is like the flower. One has to go through meditation.

People ask me why, if their path is that of prayer, are they supposed to do so many meditations here in my ashram. Prayer will come; you have to pave the way for it to come. You have to go through all kinds of meditations – these are cleansing processes. This is the male part of you that has to be satisfied, and then the female part will take possession; you will be pregnant. And to be pregnant is to be prayerful because then nothing is left to be done. Effort is finished and now you are effortless. This is what Taoists call “inaction through action.”

You have been doing many experiments on moving the light in a circle, you have succeeded after a long, concentrated effort; something has crystallized in you – the man and woman are no more separate, they have become one – the child is there. Now, except for waiting, nothing is needed. Wait with hope, wait with trust. And this is what prayer is.

In the midst of the primal transformation, the radiance of the light is the determining thing.

And what will make you alert that the pregnancy has happened? You will start seeing an inner radiance. Whenever you close your eyes, you will not see darkness but radiance. And not only will you see it, those who love you – they will start seeing an aura around you.

In the midst of the primal transformation, the radiance of the light is the determining thing.

How do you know that a woman is pregnant? Have you not seen a certain aura around a pregnant woman? Have you not seen some light coming out of her eyes, her face, her very being? It is exactly the same, but on a much higher plane, when you are pregnant with God within you. You will see radiance. Whenever you close your eyes, you will be all light inside, a sourceless light, coming from nowhere, very cool light, moonlight, but immensely enchanting, magical. And others who love you and are very close to you will also start feeling it.

That’s why we draw an aura around the pictures of saints: it is not available to everybody. If you had seen Christ, you would not have seen his aura, but his disciples saw it. Certainly, the people who crucified him didn’t see that aura. They could not see; they were blind, they were closed. The aura was seen around Buddha – by the disciples. These secrets are available only to lovers. They are such intimate secrets that they are not available to all and sundry, to any Tom, Dick and Harry. They are only available to those who are intimate, those who come close, close, closer and closer, and those who are open, vulnerable.

In the midst of the primal transformation, the radiance of the light is the determining thing. In the physical world it is the sun; in man, the eye.

And when the inner radiance starts growing in you, the eyes become aflame, they look drunk. There is a dance in the eyes – a subtle light, a totally different quality comes to the eyes. Now the eyes not only see things, but they share too. Tao cannot be divided, but it can be shared. And the sharing of Tao is through the eyes.

When I initiate you into sannyas, I ask you to look at me. I want to look into your eyes, I want my eyes to dig deep into your eyes, to have a contact there, because behind your two eyes is hidden the third eye. If the third eye is contacted – and if you are open it happens within a split second, time is not needed – if the third eye is contacted, I know a disciple has come. If it is not contacted, then I only hope that you will become a disciple someday. In that hope I give you sannyas. But that is a hope; it may be fulfilled, it may not be fulfilled – it will depend on a thousand and one things. But when I see a disciple, when the third eye immediately starts responding to me, then you have come – to the place you have been seeking and searching for. Now there will be no need to go anywhere, now you will not need any Master, any teaching. You have come home.

This energy is directed outward – flows downward.

Ordinarily, the energy that is coming from the eyes flows outward. “Outward” and “downward” are synonymous.

Therefore the way of golden flower depends wholly on the backward-flowing method.

Ordinarily the energy is going outward and downward. You have to bring it backward, inward – and “inward” is synonymous with “upward.” Once it starts coming back to you and you become a circle of energy, you will be surprised: a new dimension has opened up; you start moving upward. Your life is no longer horizontal, it has taken a new route, the vertical.

God exists on the vertical route. You will not come across him in the world – not that he is not in the world, but unless you are moving vertically, you will not come across him. Just as a blind man cannot see light, the horizontal man cannot see God.

Many come to me and say, “If you show us God, we will believe.” But how can I show you God? How can I show a blind man light unless he is prepared to go through the treatment so that his eyes open? I will have to turn you from your horizontal way of life into a vertical way of life. That’s what sannyas is all about: a vertical way of being. And once the light starts moving upward, the golden flower opens up.

These are symbols; there is no flower inside you. “Flower” simply represents flowering, “golden” simply represents its lightfulness, its radiance.

The circulation of the light is not only a fantasy.

Remember: the circulation of the light is not only a fantasy. In the beginning it may appear so – you will have to be patient – soon it becomes a fact. It is a fact, it is a fact from the very beginning, but just because you have never been in contact with it, in the beginning it looks like a fantasy.

By concentrating the thoughts, one can fly; by concentrating the desires, one falls.

Desire is the Taoist name for energy moving downward, “outward,” and “thought” is the Taoist symbol for energy moving inward. So don’t misunderstand. By “thought,” Taoists don’t mean your so-called thoughts, by “thought” they mean thought-energy purified of desire. If it is purified of desire and all desire has disappeared, then there is no need to go out because you go out only because you are desirous of something. You desire a house, you desire money, you desire power, you desire a man, a woman, this and that, then you go out. If there is no desire, thought need not go out; it starts turning inward – the one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turn happens.

Desireless thought is inward-moving, desireful thought is outward-moving. Hence the insistence of all the buddhas on desirelessness.

When a pupil takes little care of his thoughts and much care of his desires, he gets into the path of submersion.

When a disciple takes little care of his thought and too much care of his desires he is drowned in the world.

Only through contemplation and quietness does true intuition arise: for that the backward-flowing method is necessary.

Thought has to be purified of desire. Once thought is purified of desire it is no-thought. Mind without desires is a no-mind. It is what Patanjali calls samadhi, Zen people call satori, Taoists call crystallization: the balance of the outward and the inward. And no energy is lost; it goes into the world and comes back, like a bird flying in the morning out into the sky, and by the evening it comes back to the nest.

Let your energy come back to the nest again and again. Don’t let it go forever without turning it back to you. And you will become a reservoir, and you will become tremendously powerful inwardly. Only in that power does intuition start functioning. In that power spirit-fire is born. In that power the true light-pole arises. In that power suddenly there develops the seed-pearl.

It is as if a man and woman embraced and a conception took place. Then one must be quite still and wait.

Meditation is complete and prayer begins. To bring meditation to prayer is the whole work of Tao.

Enough for today.

-Osho

From The Secret of Secrets, Discourse #7

An MP3 audio file of this discourse can be downloaded from Osho.com, or you can read the entire book online at the Osho Library.

Many of Osho’s books are available in the U.S. online from Amazon.com and Viha Osho Book Distributors. In India they are available from Amazon.in and Oshoworld.com.

The Capacity to Listen Without the Mind – Osho

Whenever you hear through the mind you are not hearing, because the mind interprets, the mind colors, the mind changes, mixes itself; and anything that reaches to you is now already old. The mind has done its trick. The mind has given its own meaning, the interpretation. The mind has commented.

That’s why, unless you become a right listener . . . Right listening means the capacity to listen without the mind. Right seer means the capacity to look without the mind, the capacity to look without interpreting, judging, condemning; without evaluation, without saying yes or no. When I speak to you, I can even see your mind nodding yes or no. Even if the nod is invisible, I can see it. You may not be aware, sometimes you say yes– the mind has interpreted. Sometimes you say no – the mind has interpreted, the mind has come in, evaluating. You have missed.

Just listening, not judging, suddenly you become aware that this mind has been the whole trouble. It is old – one thing to remember– and it can never be new. So never think that you have an original mind. No mind can be original, all minds are old, repetitive. That’s why mind always likes repetition and is always against the new. Because the mind has created the society, the society is always against the new. The mind has created the state, the civilization, the morality; they are all against the new.

-Osho

From No Water No Moon, Discourse #1

An MP3 audio file of this discourse can be downloaded from Osho.com, or you can read the entire book online at the Osho Library.

Many of Osho’s books are available in the U.S. online from Amazon.com and Viha Osho Book Distributors. In India they are available from Amazon.in and Oshoworld.com.

Podcast Episode: Be a Light unto Yourself

An imaginary podcast discussing a real post

Following is an A.I. generated conversation discussing Purushottama’s post: Be A Light Unto Yourself

click to play or download audio file:

Be a Light unto Yourself Podcast

Pip: Sat Sangha Salon — where the beach walk leads somewhere you didn’t expect.

Mara: Today we’re following a single insight from Purushottama: what it means to stop seeking attention from the outside world and turn it inward. Let’s start with that realization on the beach.

Be a Light unto Yourself

Pip: The setup here is deceptively ordinary — a working holiday in Mexico, walks on the beach, swimming in cenotes. But something lands mid-stroll that reframes a pretty fundamental human habit: the need to be seen.

Mara: The post traces it back to a specific moment of noticing. The observation is that “we seek attention in many ways and that it is natural to seek attention until we are ourselves giving attention to our true being in self-remembering or right-remembering.”

Pip: So the hunger for outside attention isn’t a character flaw — it’s a placeholder. It fills the space until something else does. That’s a meaningful distinction, because it shifts the question from “what’s wrong with me” to “what am I actually missing.”

Mara: And the post names what replaces it. Once you begin nourishing your being with your own attention, the need for external validation doesn’t get managed or suppressed — it simply evaporates. That’s the word used: evaporates.

Pip: Evaporates is doing a lot of work there. Not “diminishes,” not “becomes manageable.” Gone. Which is either very reassuring or a very high bar, depending on where you’re standing.

Mara: The post ties this directly to the Buddha’s instruction “Be a light unto yourself” — reading it as at least one answer to why that phrase matters. Self-remembering isn’t a spiritual luxury; it’s the actual source that makes external approval unnecessary.

Pip: What I find interesting is the framing of attention as nourishment. You’re not fighting the craving — you’re feeding the thing that was hungry all along, just from a different direction.

Mara: Right, and the setting isn’t incidental. The observation arrives mid-walk, surrounded by suntans and tattoos and what the post calls “undulating buttocks” — all of it display, all of it a bid for eyes. The insight emerges from inside the phenomenon it’s describing.

Mara: The idea that self-remembering makes external attention unnecessary — that’s not a small claim.

Pip: No. It’s the kind of thing that sounds simple until you actually try it. More from Sat Sangha Salon next time.

Here you can listen to the podcast on Youtube.

Here is the original post from Purushottama, Be a Light Unto Yourself

Podcast Episode: Meditation Involves all Three

An imaginary conversation discussing a real post

Following is an A.I. generated conversation discussing Purushottama’s post: Meditation Involves all Three.

click to play or download audio file:

Meditation Involves all Three Podcast

Pip: Sat Sangha Salon — where the questions are ancient and the answers keep arriving fresh, usually before breakfast.

Mara: Today we’re working through a piece by Purushottama on what meditation actually is — how concentration, contemplation, and dhyana relate to each other, and what it takes for awareness to find its own ground.

Pip: Let’s start with how those three stages fit together.

Meditation Involves all Three

Mara: The post opens with a distinction Osho draws between concentration, contemplation, and meditation — but the real claim here is that all three aren’t competing alternatives. They’re a sequence, a natural progression that unfolds within a single sitting.

Pip: And the writer lays out exactly where each stage lives. Here’s the spine of it: “This watching without any involvement at all is what I am referring to as dhyana, as meditation. In this watching there is more self-awareness than identification hence I am able to watch without involvement.”

Mara: So the upshot is that dhyana isn’t a separate technique you switch into — it’s what concentration and contemplation are building toward. Each stage increases self-awareness and loosens identification until the watcher can simply remain on the bank.

Pip: The river metaphor does a lot of work here — you’re not stopping the current, you’re just refusing to jump in. Which sounds effortless until you’ve spent twenty minutes narrating your own grocery list.

Mara: Right, and the post is honest about that friction. Contemplation is described as “a continual movement from being aware to being lost in thought, remembering and again lost into the stream of thought.” The re-membering — spelled out with a hyphen — is doing something deliberate there: rejoining awareness, piece by piece.

Pip: What strikes me is the practical instruction buried in the final section. You don’t start from some ideal state — you start from wherever you actually are. Chaotic and scattered? Begin with concentration. Already thinking hard about a problem? That’s contemplation — you can work with it.

Mara: And the post follows that logic all the way through. When watching becomes truly non-involved, thought doesn’t get suppressed — it subsides on its own. The interference itself, the grasping and rejecting and judging, is what keeps the stream moving. Remove that, and the witness is what remains: “awareness aware of itself.”

Pip: Three stages, one ground. The architecture was always there — the sitting just maps it.

Mara: What stays with me is the idea that you begin from wherever you are — not from some prepared, settled place.

Pip: Awareness finding its own address. We’ll keep following that thread next time.

Here you can listen to the podcast on Youtube.

and Here is the original Post from Purushottama, Meditation Inovles all three.

This False One is a Pretender – Osho

Why do I want to wake up when, as you say, awakening only happens when I am not? This seems very paradoxical.

The ego is not your real self; the ego is a false entity, arbitrary. It is the ego that is your sleep, that surrounds you like a darkness, like a cloud. Hidden behind this darkness is your real self, your real being, which wants to wake up, which wants to get out of all this smoke, out of all this darkness, which wants to get out of the prison of the ego.

There is really no paradox, it only appears so. It appears paradoxical. Your question seems relevant . . . but you have two selves. One is the real: the one that you were born with, the one that was even before your birth, the one that will be there even when death has happened, the one that is running underneath like a hidden current. And the other is created by you, by your family, by your church, by your society, by your state, by the crowd.

This false one is a pretender: it pretends to be the real self. And the real self wants to come out of this unreal one surrounding it. It is a constant suffering for the real self because the real is being suffocated by the unreal; the real feels imprisoned in a dark cell. The real self is vast and has become confined in a very small space. It is crippling and paralyzing.

So when I say awakening happens only when you are not, I mean when your false ego is no more. And that is the only “I” you are aware of right now – that is the “I” you are identified with. Hence, I say whatsoever you know of yourself will not be there when awakening happens. That does not mean you will not be there. You will be there, but that “you” will be so new, so utterly discontinuous with This “you” that you are living right now, that it is better not to mention it at all.

Hence Buddha is silent about it. Not only that . . . if you insist, he calls your real self, anatta, a no-self, for the simple reason that to call it also a self may be confusing. The false is known as the self; if the real is also called a self, you may get confused. You are already too much confused! Buddha calls it a no-self.

But don’t lose heart. Don’t be worried, don’t be afraid that you will die completely. As you are, you will not be there, but you will be there as you should be. Your natural, your spontaneous, being will be there.

And Buddha is also right in calling it a no-self because when the real self is there you don’t have any idea of “I.” The “I” is also a thought. The real self has no idea of “I”; the real self is one with the universal self. It is not separate from existence; it is not an island. The unreal self is separate, the unreal self creates separation, hence, the unreal self creates misery. To be separate from the whole is to be miserable. To be one with the whole is bliss.

And the paradox is only apparent; there is no paradox in reality.

One Sunday morning at the parish of St. Mary’s, Little Wakefield, the signboard announcing the subject of the day’s sermon read: “And forgive us our trespasses.” A few yards away, stuck into the grass, was another sign which read: “Trespassers will be prosecuted.”

Just like that: there is no real contradiction, but it appears to be there. On the one hand, a sign says: “And forgive us our trespasses,” and on the other hand another sign says: “Trespassers will be prosecuted.” But they are not concerned with the same object; their meaning is totally different. When I say you will not be there, I am talking about the artificial self – which you are not but which you have come to believe that you are. Your real self will be there – which you are but which you have forgotten completely.

-Osho

From Walking in Zen, Sitting in Zen, Discourse #6, Q1

An MP3 audio file of this discourse can be downloaded from Osho.com, or you can read the entire book online at the Osho Library.

Many of Osho’s books are available in the U.S. online from Amazon.com and Viha Osho Book Distributors. In India they are available from Amazon.in and Oshoworld.com.

What About Physical Pain? – Osho

I have glimpses of how psychological, existential pain is created by the ego. It is homemade, and it can be homemade. But what about physical pain: why is it there? Is it a necessary part of dying? I do not feel I am afraid of death as much as I am afraid of physical pain, senility, old age.

Psychological pain can be dissolved; and only psychological pain can be dissolved. The other pain, the physical pain, is part of life and death; there is no way to dissolve it. But it never creates a problem. Have you ever observed? — The problem is only when you are thinking about it. If you think of old age, you become afraid, but old people are not trembling. If you think of illness, you become afraid, but when the illness has already happened, there is no fear, there is no problem. One accepts it as a fact.

The real problem is always psychological. The physical pain is part of life. When you start thinking about it, it is not physical pain at all; it has become psychological. You think about death; there is fear. But when death actually happens there is no fear. Fear is always about something in the future. Fear never exists in the present moment. If you are going to the front in a war, you will be afraid, you will be very apprehensive. You will tremble; you will not be able to sleep: many nightmares will haunt you. But once you are on the front — ask the soldiers — once you are on the front, you forget all about it. Bullets may be passing and you can enjoy your lunch; and bombs may be falling and you can play cards.

You can ask Gurudayal. He has been in the war, he has been to the front, he has been a soldier; he knows: the fear is about the future. Then the problem is not physical — because the fear exists in your psychology. When the pain is actual, physical, there is no problem about it. Reality never comes as a problem; it is only the ideas about reality that create the problem.

So the first thing to be understood is: if you can dissolve the psychological pain, no problem is left. Then you start living in the moment. “Psychological” means: of the past, of the future, never of the present. Mind never exists in the present. In the present reality exists, not the mind. Mind exists in the past and the future, and in past and future reality does not exist. In fact, mind and reality never come across each other. They have never seen each other’s face. Reality remains unknown to mind, and mind remains unknown to reality.

The psychology is the problem; the reality never is a problem.

There is an old fable . . . Darkness approached God and said, “Enough is enough! Your sun goes on haunting me, chasing me. I can never rest; wherever I go to rest he is there, and I have to run away again. And I have not done any wrong to him. This is unjust. And I have come to you to get justice.” It was perfectly right; the complaint was true. And God called the sun and asked the sun, “Why do you go on chasing this poor woman, darkness? What has she done to you?” The sun said, “I don’t know her at all. I have never seen her. You just call her in front of me; only then can I say something. I don’t remember ever having done any wrong to her, because I don’t know her. We are not familiar. Nobody has ever introduced us to each other; we are not even acquainted. It is for the first time from you that I am hearing about this woman, this darkness. You call her!”

The case remains pending — because God could not call darkness before the sun. They cannot exist together, they cannot encounter each other. When darkness is, the sun cannot be; when the sun is, the darkness cannot be. Exactly the same is the relationship between mind and reality: the psychology is the problem, the reality never is a problem. You just dissolve your psychological problems — and they are dissolved by dissolving the center of them all: the ego. Once you don’t think yourself separate from existence, problems simply evaporate, as dewdrops disappear in the morning when the sun rises, not even leaving a trace behind. They simply disappear.

Physical pain will remain, but again I will insist that it has never been a problem to anybody. If your leg is broken, it is broken. It is not a problem. The problem is only in imagination: “If my leg is broken, then what am I going to do? And how am I to avoid, or how am I to behave and work my way so my leg is never broken?”

Now, if you become afraid about such things you cannot live, because your legs can be broken, your neck can be broken, your eyes can go blind. Anything is possible; millions of things are possible. If you become obsessed with all these problems which are possible . . .

I am not saying they are not possible. They are all possible. Whatsoever has happened to any human being, ever, can happen to you. Cancer can happen, TB can happen, death can happen; everything is possible. Man is vulnerable. You can just go outside on the road and you can be hit by a car. I am not saying don’t go outside on the road. You can sit in a room and the roof can fall. There is no way to save yourself totally and perfectly. You can be lying down on your bed, but do you know that ninety-seven percent of people die on a bed? That is the most dangerous place! Avoid it as much as you can; never go to bed. Ninety-seven percent of people die in bed. Even travelling by airplane is not so dangerous; it is more dangerous to be in bed. And remember, more people die in the night . . . so, remain trembling. Then it is up to you. Then you will not be able to live at all.

Psychological problems are the only problems. You can become paranoid, you can become split, you can become paralyzed because of fear — but this is nothing to do with reality. You see a blind man walking on the road perfectly well; blindness in itself is not the problem. You can see beggars — their legs broken, their hands gone, and still laughing, still gossiping with each other, still talking about women, making remarks, singing a tune.

Just watch life: life is never a problem. Man has tremendous capacity to adjust to the fact, but man has no capacity to adjust to the future. Once you try to protect yourself and secure yourself in the future, then you will be in a turmoil, in a chaos. You will start falling apart. And then there are millions of problems — problems and problems and problems. You cannot even commit suicide, because the poison may not be the right poison. In India you cannot rely on anything! They may have mixed something into it; it may not be poison at all. You may take it and you will lie down . . . and you will wait and wait and wait — and death is not coming. Then everything creates a problem.

Mulla Nasrudin was going to commit suicide. He came across an astrologer on the street, and the astrologer said, “Mulla, wait. Let me see your hand.” He said, “What do I have to do now with astrology? I am going to commit suicide! So there is no point; now there is no future.” The astrologer said, “Wait. Let me see whether you can succeed or not.” Future remains. You may not succeed, you may be caught by the police, you may misfire. There is no way to be certain about the future — not even about death, not even about suicide. What to say about life? Life is such a complex phenomenon; how can you be certain? Everything is possible and nothing is certain.

If you become afraid, this is just your psychology. Something has to be done to your mind. And if you understand me rightly, meditation is nothing but an effort to look at reality without the mind — because that is the only way to look at reality. If the mind is there it distorts, it corrupts. Drop the mind and see reality — direct, immediate, face to face. And there is no problem. Reality has never created any problem for anybody. I am here; you are also here — I don’t see a single problem. If I fall ill, I fall ill. What is there to be worried about? Why make a fuss about it? If I die, I die.

A problem needs space: in the present moment there is no space. Things only happen; there is no time to think about it. You can think about the past because there is distance; you can think about the future, there is distance. In fact, future and past are created just to give us space so that we can worry. And the more space you have, the more worry. Now in India they are much more worried because they think, “Next life . . . and . . . and” — ad infinitum — “what is going to happen in the next life?” A person is doing something and he does not think only about the consequences that are going to happen here now; he thinks, “What karma am I going to gather for my future life?” Now he will become even more worried; he has more space. And how is he going to fill that space? — he will fill it with more and more problems. Worry is a way to fill the empty space of the future.

The questioner says, “I have glimpses of how psychological, existential pain is created by ego. It is homemade, and it can be unmade.”

Just understanding it intellectually won’t help; you have to do it. Do it, and then the next question will disappear. Do it, and then you will find there is not any problem left. “But what about physical pain?” Now this is how problems arise. Intellectually you have understood one thing, but that doesn’t make any sense. The next question immediately brings your reality to the surface: you have not understood. It is as if a blind man goes on groping with his stick; he finds his path by it. And then we say, “Your eyes can be cured, but then you will have to drop your walking stick. It is not needed.” The blind man will say, “I can understand that my eyes can be cured, but how can I walk without my stick?” Now, intellectually he has understood that eyes can be cured, but existentially, experientially, he has not understood it — otherwise the next question wouldn’t arise.

Sometimes people come to me and they ask one question, and I say, “You go on; you ask the next too.” Because one question may not show the reality; they may be just showing their intellectual understanding. But with the next question they are bound to be caught. They are bound to be, because with the next question, immediately they will miss. The first part of the question is perfect, but you have got the point only through the mind. It is not yet chewed well; it is not yet digested. It has not become blood, bones, marrow. It is not yet part of your existence. Otherwise, you can never ask, “What about the physical pain?” — because the very question is psychological. Physical pain is not a problem — when it is there, it is there; when it is not there, it is not there.

A problem arises when something is not there and you want it to be there, or when something is there and you don’t want it to be there. A problem is always psychological: “Why is it there?” Now this is all psychological. Who is to say why it is there? There is nobody to answer. Only explanations can be given, but those are not really answers. Explanations are simple. It is very simple: pain is there because pleasure is there. Pleasure cannot exist without pain.

If you want a life absolutely painless, then you will have to live a life absolutely pleasureless. They come together in one package. They are not two things really; they are one thing — not different, not separate, and cannot be separated.

That’s what man has been doing through the centuries: separating, to somehow have all the pleasures of the world and not have any pain; but this is not possible. The more pleasures you have, the more pain also. The bigger the peak, the deeper will be the valley by the side. You want no valleys and you want big peaks. Then the peaks cannot exist; they can exist only with valleys. The valley is nothing but a situation in which a peak becomes possible. The peak and the valley are joined together. You want pleasure and you don’t want pain.

For example: you love a woman or you love a man, and when the woman is with you, you are happy. Now, you would like to be happy whenever she is with you, but when she goes away you don’t want the pain. If you are really happy with a woman when she is with you, how can you avoid the pain of separation when she is gone and she is no longer there? You will miss her; you will feel the absence. The absence is bound to become pain. If you really want that you should not have any pain, then you should start avoiding all pleasure. Then when the woman is there don’t feel happy; just remain sad, just remain unhappy — so that when she goes, there is no problem.

If somebody greets you and you feel happy, then when somebody insults you, you will feel unhappy. This trick has been tried. This has been one of the most basic tricks that all of the so-called religious people have tried: if you want to avoid pain, avoid pleasure. But then what is the point? If you want to avoid death, avoid life — but then what is the point of it all? You will be dead. Before death, you will be dead.

If you want to be perfectly secure, enter into your grave and lie down there. You will be perfectly secure. Don’t breathe, because if you breathe there is danger . . . because there are all sorts of infections . . . There is danger, so don’t breathe, don’t move . . . just don’t live. Commit suicide; then there will be no pain. But then why are you searching for it? You want no pain and all pleasure. You demand something impossible: you want that two plus two should not be four. You want them to become five, or three, or anything, but never four. But they are four.

Whatever you do, howsoever you deceive yourself and others, they will remain four. Pain and pleasure go together like night and day, like birth and death, like love and hate.

-Osho

From The Discipline of Transcendence, V.4, Discourse #2, Q1

An MP3 audio file of this discourse can be downloaded from Osho.com, or you can read the entire book online at the Osho Library.

Many of Osho’s books are available in the U.S. online from Amazon.com and Viha Osho Book Distributors. In India they are available from Amazon.in and Oshoworld.com.

Podcast Episode: A Way Out

An imaginary podcast discussing a real post

Following is an A.I. generated conversation discussing Purushottama’s post: A Way Out.

click to play or download audio file:

A Way Out Podcast

Pip: Welcome to Sat Sangha Salon — where the inner landscape gets more airtime than the outer one, which honestly seems fair at this point.

Mara: Today we’re working through a piece by Purushottama that asks a question most of us quietly carry: if conditioning is everywhere and unavoidable, is there actually a way out? Let’s start with that territory.

A Way Out

Pip: The premise here is almost vertiginous — not that we have some conditioning, but that there is no version of a human life that escapes it. Political, religious, cultural, generational — the post maps the full sweep and lands somewhere uncomfortable.

Mara: The setup earns that discomfort. After cataloguing every flavor of conditioning a person might inherit, the post arrives here: “There seems to be no way out of this quagmire.”

Pip: And that’s the real stakes — not a personal complaint but a structural diagnosis. If the mind itself is built from accumulated impressions, then thinking your way out just adds another layer. You cannot use the conditioned instrument to uncondition itself.

Mara: Which is exactly where the post turns. The mystics — Buddhas, Christs, Zen masters, Krishnamurti, Ramana, Osho — are cited not as authorities to believe but as a provocation to investigate personally. The move is from received wisdom to direct experiment.

Pip: And the experiment has a specific character. This isn’t positive visualization or philosophical detachment — it’s closer to just staying put.

Mara: The post is precise about this: meditation here means “giving a little time and space to have a look at what presents itself, what arises in my inner landscape and to stay with it totally, not by thinking about it, analyzing it, judging it, but by being with unconditionally.” No rejection of the uncomfortable, no clinging to the pleasant.

Pip: So the way out is in — which sounds like a bumper sticker until you sit with what it’s actually asking. It’s asking you to watch the machinery without touching the controls.

Mara: And the reported result is that the stream of conditioning slowly loses momentum. Not through suppression but through witnessing — dense matter, as the post puts it, becoming spaciousness.

Mara: There’s also a candid acknowledgment that most people have no interest in this project, because the end of conditioning is, in a real sense, the end of the self built around it.

Pip: That honesty is what keeps the whole thing from tipping into prescription. It’s offered as a personal discovery, not a mandate.

Mara: Exactly — the closing note is that intellectual understanding alone isn’t enough. It has to become lived experience, which is the whole point of the experiment.

Pip: And if spaciousness is what’s on the other side, the question becomes what we do with the quiet once we find it.

Pip: Conditioning as the water we swim in — and meditation as the first moment you notice you’re wet.

Mara: That’s the thread. Next time, we’ll see where the inquiry goes from here.

Here you can listen to the podcast on Youtube.

and Here is the original Post from Purushottama, A Way Out.

Podcast Episode: Unconditional Forgiveness

An imaginary conversation discussing a real post

Following is an A.I. generated conversation discussing Purushottama’s post: Unconditional Forgiveness.

click to play or download audio file:

Unconditional Forgiveness Podcast

Pip: Sat Sangha Salon — where the questions worth sitting with eventually find you, whether you invited them or not.

Mara: Today we’re working through one post from Purushottama, and it goes deep into forgiveness — not as a transaction, but as something you extend without requiring anything in return.

Pip: Let’s start with that territory — unconditional forgiveness, and what it actually costs.

Unconditional Forgiveness

Pip: The central tension here is whether forgiveness is something you grant to someone else, or something you do entirely for yourself — and whether waiting for the other party to show up first is even a viable option.

Mara: The post frames it plainly. Approaching his 72nd year, the writer reflects: “My wholeness, my at peaceness, is not dependent upon anyone else’s forgiveness, but it is wholly dependent on the unconditional forgiveness that I, myself, give.”

Pip: That’s a significant shift in where the work lives. It moves the whole project of becoming whole out of someone else’s hands and back into your own.

Mara: And the post follows that logic to its uncomfortable end — someone you harmed may still be carrying pain even after you’ve forgiven yourself. Someone who harmed you may still carry guilt even after you’ve forgiven them. The ledgers don’t automatically reconcile just because one side has settled.

Pip: So the only exit from that loop, for anyone, is to forgive without waiting for the other party to move first.

Mara: The post draws on Matthew 6:14-15 to anchor this — “For if you forgive men their trespass, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” — and then deliberately reframes it, swapping “heavenly Father” for “existence” or “the whole,” so the principle holds even outside a religious frame.

Pip: What I find sharp about that move is it doesn’t dismiss the scripture — it just strips it down to the mechanism: self-forgiveness and forgiving others are, as the post puts it, “glued together, and inseparable.”

Mara: The post closes on a practical consequence that’s hard to argue with. If wholeness depends on a reckoning with people who have already shown they can harm you, you’ve handed your wellbeing to exactly the wrong party.

Pip: Holding out for the apology is, structurally, a second injury you inflict on yourself.

Mara: That’s the post’s real argument — not that forgiveness is noble, but that withholding it is a form of captivity you choose.

Pip: Forgiveness as self-governance — that’s the frame that sticks.

Mara: It reorients the whole question. Not who deserves it, but who suffers without it.

Pip: More from Sat Sangha Salon next time.

Here you can listen to the podcast on Youtube.

and Here is the original Post from Purushottama, Unconditional Forgiveness.

I Want a Meeting of East and West – Osho

You have been using the key word “deprogramming” to describe your work. The techniques that you have suggested during these years, from Chaotic and Dynamic meditation to the modern therapeutic school.

I would like you to explain in brief why you had to create new meditation techniques like Kundalini Meditation or Dynamic Meditation, even though there is a tradition already including hundreds of techniques from Yoga, Sufism, Buddhism, etc.

What is also surprising to the West is that you are using therapies such as Gestalt, Primal, Encounter, in your commune. Is it really necessary? The suspicion is that your secret intentions are nothing but to brainwash people’s minds, and that cannot be tolerated because you are touching the most precious thing they have.

The ancient methods of meditation were all developed in the East. They never considered the Western man, the Western man was excluded. I am creating techniques which are not only for the Eastern man, which are simply for every man – Eastern or Western.

There is a difference between the Eastern tradition and the Western tradition – and it is the tradition that creates the mind. For example, the Eastern mind is very patient – thousands of years of teaching to remain patient, whatever the conditions may be. The Western mind is very impatient. The same methods of technique cannot be applicable to both. The Eastern mind has been conditioned to keep a certain equilibrium in success or in failure, in richness or in poverty, in sickness or in health, in life or in death. The Western mind has no idea of such equilibrium; it gets too disturbed. With success it gets disturbed; it starts feeling at the top of the world, starts feeling a certain superiority complex. In failure it goes to the other extreme; it falls into the seventh hell. It is miserable, in deep anguish, and it feels a tremendous inferiority complex. It is torn apart. And life consists of both. There are moments which are beautiful, and there are moments which are ugly. There are moments when you are in love, there are moments when you are in anger, in hatred. The Western mind simply goes with the situation. It is always in a turmoil. The Eastern mind has learnt… it is a conditioning, it is not a revolution, it is only a training, a discipline, it is a practice. Underneath it is the same, but a thick conditioning makes it keep a certain balance.

The Eastern mind is very slow because there is no point in being speedy; life takes its own course and everything is determined by fate, so what you get, you don’t get by your speed, your hurry. What you get, you get because it is already destined. So there is no question of being in a hurry. Whenever something is going to happen, it is going to happen – neither one second before nor one second after it. This has created a very slow flow in the East. It seems almost as if the river is not flowing; it is so slow that you cannot detect the flow. Moreover, the Eastern conditioning is that you have already lived millions of lives, and there are millions ahead to be lived, so the life span is not only seventy years; the life span is vast and enormous. There is no hurry; there is so much time available: why should you be in a hurry? If it does not happen in this life, it may happen in some other life.

The Western mind is very speedy, fast, because the conditioning is for only one life – seventy years – and so much to do. One third of your life goes into sleep, one third of your life goes into education, training – what is left? Much of it goes into earning your livelihood. If you count everything, you will be surprised: out of seventy years you cannot even have seven years left for something that you want to do. Naturally there is hurry, a mad rush, so mad that one forgets where one is going. All that you remember is whether you are going with speed or not. The means becomes the end.

In the same way, in different directions . . . the Eastern mind has cultivated itself differently than the Western mind. Those one hundred and twelve methods of meditation developed in the East have never taken account of the Western man; they were not developed for the Western man. The Western man was not yet available. The time that Vigyan Bhairava Tantra was written – in which those one hundred and twelve techniques have come to perfection – is nearabout five to ten thousand years before us. At that time there was no Western man, no Western society, no Western culture. The West was still barbarous, primitive, not worth taking into account. The East was the whole world, at the pinnacle of its growth, richness, civilization.

My methods of meditation have been developed out of an absolute necessity. I want the distinction between the West and the East to be dissolved.

After Shiva’s Vigyan Bhairava Tantra, in these five or ten thousand years, nobody has developed a single method. But I have been watching the differences between East and West: the same method cannot be applied immediately to both. First, the Eastern and the Western mind have to be brought into a similar state. Those techniques of dynamic meditation, kundalini meditation, and others, are all cathartic; their basis is catharsis.

You have to throw out all the junk that your mind is full of. Unless you are unloaded you cannot sit silently. It is just as if you tell a child to sit silently in the corner of the room. It is very difficult; he is so full of energy. You are repressing a volcano! The best way is, first tell him, “Go run outside around the house ten times; then come and sit down in the corner.”

Then it is possible, you have made it possible. He himself wants to sit down now, to relax. He is tired, he is exhausted; now, sitting there, he is not repressing his energy, he has expressed his energy by running around the house ten times. Now he is more at ease. The cathartic methods are simply to throw all your impatience, your speediness, your hurry, your repressions.

One more factor has to be remembered, that these are absolutely necessary for the Western man before he can do something like vipassana – just sitting silently doing nothing and the grass grows by itself. But you have to be sitting silently, doing nothing – that is a basic condition for the grass to grow by itself. If you cannot sit silently doing nothing, you are going to disturb the grass. I have always loved gardens, and wherever I have lived I have created beautiful gardens, lawns. I used to talk to people sitting on my lawn, and I became aware that they were all pulling the grass Out . . . just hectic energy. If they had nothing to do, they would simply pull the grass. I had to tell them, “If you go on doing this, then you will have to sit inside the room. I cannot allow you to destroy my lawn.”

They would stop themselves for a while, and as they started listening to me, again unconsciously, their hands would start pulling at the grass. So sitting silently doing nothing is not really just sitting silently and doing nothing. It is doing a big favor to the grass. Unless you are not doing anything, the grass cannot grow; you will stop it, you will pull it out, you will disturb it.

So these methods are absolutely necessary for the Western mind. But a new factor has also entered: they have become necessary for the Eastern mind too. The mind for which Shiva wrote those one hundred and twelve methods of meditation no longer exists – even in the East now. The Western influence has been tremendous. Things have changed.

In Shiva’s time there was no Western civilization. The East was at its peak of glory; it was called “a golden bird.” It had all the luxuries and comforts: it was really affluent.

Now the situation is reversed: the East has been in slavery for two thousand years, exploited by almost everyone in the world, invaded by a dozen countries, continuously looted, raped, burned. It is now a beggar.

And three hundred years of British rule in India have destroyed India’s own educational system – which was a totally different thing. They forced the Eastern mind to be educated according to Western standards. They have almost turned the Eastern intelligentsia into a second-grade Western intelligentsia. They have given their disease of speediness, of hurry, of impatience, of continuous anguish, anxiety, to the East.

If you see the temples of Khajuraho or the temples of Konarak, you can see the East in its true colors. Just in Khajuraho there were one hundred temples; only thirty have survived, seventy have been destroyed by Mohammedans. Thousands of temples of tremendous beauty and sculpture have been destroyed by Mohammedans. These thirty survived; it was just coincidence, because they were part of a forest. Perhaps the invaders forgot about them. But the British influence on the Indian mind was so great, that even a man like Mahatma Gandhi wanted these thirty temples to be covered with mud so nobody could see them. Just to think of the people who had created those hundred temples… each temple must have taken centuries to build. They are so delicate in structure, so proportionate and so beautiful, that there exists nothing parallel to them on the earth.

And you can imagine that temples don’t exist alone; if there were a hundred temples, there must have been a city of thousands of people; otherwise, a hundred temples are meaningless. Where are those people? With the temples those people have been massacred. And those temples I take as an example, because their sculpture will look pornographic to the Western mind; to Mahatma Gandhi it also looked pornographic. India owes so much to Rabindranath Tagore. He was the man who prevented Mahatma Gandhi and other politicians who were ready to cover the temples, to hide them from people’s eyes. Rabindranath Tagore said, “This is absolutely stupid. They are not pornographic; they are utterly beautiful.”

There is a very delicate line between pornography and beauty. A naked woman is not necessarily pornographic; a naked man is not necessarily pornographic. A beautiful man, a beautiful woman, naked, can be examples of beauty, of health, of proportion. They are the most glorious products of nature. If a deer can be naked and beautiful – and nobody thinks the deer is pornographic – then why should it be that a naked man or woman cannot be just seen as beautiful?

There were ladies in the times of Victoria in England, who covered the legs of the chairs with cloth because legs should not be left naked – chairs’ legs! But because they are called legs, it was thought uncivilized, uncultured, to leave them naked. There was a movement in Victoria’s time that the people who take their dogs for a walk should cover them with cloth. They should not be naked . . . as if nakedness itself is pornographic. It is the pornographic mind.

I have been to Khajuraho hundreds of times, and I have not seen a single sculpture as pornographic. A naked picture or a naked statue becomes pornography if it provokes your sexuality. That’s the only criterion: if it provokes your sexuality, if it is an incentive to your sexual instinct. But that is not the case with Khajuraho. In fact the temples were made for just the opposite purpose. They were made to meditate on man and woman making love. And the stones have come alive. The people who have made them must have been the greatest artists the world has known. They were made to meditate upon, they were objects for meditation. It is a temple, and meditators were sitting around just looking at the sculptures, and watching within themselves whether there was any sexual desire arising. This was the criterion: when they found there was no sexual desire arising, it was a certificate for them to enter the temples. All these sculptures are outside the temple, on the walls outside; inside there are no nudist statues. But this was necessary for people to meditate, and then they were clear that there was no desire; on the contrary those statues had made their ordinary desire for sex subside. Then they were capable of entering into the temple; otherwise, they should not enter the temple. That would be a profanity – having such a desire inside and entering the temple. It would be making the temple dirty – you would be insulting the temple.

The people who created these temples created a tremendous, voluminous literature also. The East never used to be repressive of sexuality. Before Buddha and Mahavira the East was never repressive of sexuality. It was with Buddha and Mahavira that for the first time celibacy became spiritual. Otherwise, before Buddha and Mahavira, all the seers of the Upanishads, of the Vedas, were married people; they were not celibate, they had children. And they were not people who had renounced the world; they had all the luxuries and all the comforts. They lived in the forests, but they had everything presented to them by their students, by the kings, by their lovers. And their ashramas, their schools, their academies in the forest were very affluent.

With Buddha and Mahavira the East began a sick tradition of celibacy, of repression. And when Christianity came into India, there came a very strong trend of repressiveness. These three hundred years of Christianity have made the Eastern mind almost as repressive as the Western mind. So now my methods are applicable to both. I call them preliminary methods. They are to destroy everything that can prevent you from going into a silent meditation. Once dynamic meditation or kundalini meditation succeeds, you are clean. You have erased repressiveness. You have erased the speediness, the hurry, the impatience. Now it is possible for you to enter the temple. It is for this reason that I spoke about the acceptance of sex, because without the acceptance of sex, you cannot get rid of repression. And I want you to be completely clean, natural. I want you to be in a state where those one hundred and twelve methods can be applicable to you. This is my reason for devising these methods – these are simply cleansing methods.

I have also included the Western therapeutic methods because the Western mind – and under its influence, the Eastern mind: both have become sick. It is a rare phenomenon today to find a healthy mind. Everybody is feeling a certain kind of nausea, a mental nausea, a certain emptiness, which is like a wound hurting. Everybody is having his life turned into a nightmare. Everybody is worried, too much afraid of death; not only afraid of death but also afraid of life. People are living half-heartedly, people are living in a lukewarm way: not intensely like Zorba the Greek, not with a healthy flavor but with a sick mind. One has to live, so they are living. One has to love, so they are loving. One has to do this, to be like this, so they are following; otherwise, there is no incentive coming from their own being. They are not overflowing with energy. They are not risking anything to live totally. They are not adventurous – and without being adventurous, one is not healthy. Adventure is the criterion, inquiry into the unknown is the criterion. People are not young; from childhood they simply become old.

Youth never happens.

The Western therapeutic methods cannot help you to grow spiritually, but they can prepare the ground. They cannot sow the seeds of flowers but they can prepare the ground – which is a necessity. This was one reason why I included therapies. There is also another reason: I want a meeting of East and West. The East has developed meditative methods; the West has not developed meditative methods, the West has developed psychotherapies. If we want the Western mind to be interested in meditation methods, if you want the Eastern mind to come closer to the Western, then there has to be something of give and take. It should not be just Eastern – something from the Western evolution should be included. And I find those therapies are immensely helpful. They can’t go far, but as far as they go, it is good. Where they stop, meditations can take over.

But the Western mind should feel that something of its own development has been included in the meeting, in the merger; it should not be one-sided. And they are significant; they cannot harm, they can only help. And I have used them for the last fifteen years with tremendous success. They have helped people to cleanse their beings, prepared them to be ready to enter into the temple of meditation. My effort is to dissolve the separation between East and West. The earth should be one, not only politically but spiritually too.

And you say that people think that this is a clever way of brainwashing. It is something more: it is mindwashing, not brainwashing. Brainwashing is very superficial. The brain is the mechanism that the mind uses. You can wash the brain very easily – just any mechanism can be washed and cleaned and lubricated. But if the mind which is behind the brain is polluted, is dirty, is full of repressed desires, is full of ugliness, soon the brain will be full of all those ugly things.

And I don’t see that there is anything wrong in it – washing is always good. I believe in dry-cleaning. I don’t use old methods of washing.

And yes, people will feel cheated that their mind has been taken away, and that was the only precious thing they had. This will be only in the beginning. Once the mind is taken away, they will be surprised that behind the mind is their real treasure. And the mind was only a mirror, it was reflecting the treasure, but it had no treasure in itself. The treasure is behind the mind – that is your being. But a mirror can deceive you. It can give you the idea that what is reflected in it is a reality. So unless the mind is taken away – and that’s what meditation is, it is a state of no-mind. It is taking away the mind and giving you a chance to see not the reflection of the treasure of your being, but the treasure itself.

It is at this point that the master becomes a tremendous help, because to lose the mind is the most difficult thing. I can understand, because that is the only thing you have, and to lose it means to lose all. And we know when somebody loses his mind he goes mad. So everybody clings to the mind – nobody wants to go mad.

It is here the master is a practical necessity, because you have a person who has lost his mind and yet is not mad. In fact by losing his mind he has become the sanest person possible. This is the moment when you need encouragement to take a jump, to risk it all. This is the moment when you need somebody you love and somebody who loves you, and somebody whose love is more precious than your mind, so that for his love’s sake you can lose your mind. And love is something that people can give their whole life for, what to say about their mind. If you love someone you can give your whole life – you can die for your love. So the mind is nothing. And the master grows the seeds of love slowly, slowly – seeds of trust. He will not do anything unless he feels the time is ripe; unless he sees that the time is ripe and your love is capable, has come of age, and it can be asked to throw the mind away.

It can happen very easily in love and trust. And when you have a living example before you and you have lived with the master for years and seen him in different situations, seen him from different perspectives – and always found him the same unflickering light, the same joy, without any change – then deep down in your heart love and trust go on growing.

And finally, when the heart is so strong with love and trust, you can risk the mind. It is not more valuable than your heart. And the moment you drop the mind, suddenly you open the doors of the real treasure. That’s what you have been seeking all your life, but the mind was a barrier.

-Osho

From Light on the Path, Discourse #16, Q1

An MP3 audio file of this discourse can be downloaded from Osho.com, or you can read the entire book online at the Osho Library.

Many of Osho’s books are available in the U.S. online from Amazon.com and Viha Osho Book Distributors. In India they are available from Amazon.in and Oshoworld.com.

An imaginary podcast discussing a real post

I Have a Confession to Make

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Here is the original post from Purushottama, I Have a Confession to Make.

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Be a Light unto Yourself

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Meditation Involves all Three

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A Way Out

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Unconditional Forgiveness

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and Here is the original Post from Purushottama, Unconditional Forgiveness.

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